Thursday, April 24, 2008


We all think our guy is different and better than other guys. Of course mine is too. He’s a sexy loveable goofball dork. His odd, sometimes dry sense of humor is becoming predictable, but I still laugh like crazy. His quirks are less confusing as I get to know him. One of the things I like about him is his guy-ness … even the guy stuff that I don’t understand.

I like guy-guys. They are the men who think like guys, act like guys and like guy things. They can’t watch TV unless the remote control is in their hand. They play loud poker with their buddies, drink crappy beer, and count the weeks until football season starts. Guy-guys think Animal House, Caddy Shack and National Lampoon's Vacation are cinematic masterpieces. When they work on the car and cut themselves, they show it off like it’s some kind of war wound … but if you fuss about it, they insist it’s no big deal. Oh! And, guy-guys are mesmerized by boobies … not just the perfect 19-year old perky ones; they get a glaze-eyed stare from looking at ANY BOOBIES. A little cleavage is like kryptonite. They become completely compliant when near those creamy round curves.

I like guy-guys … the GOOD guy-guys. They are the men that help scrape your windshield when you’re tromping through 8 inches of snow in 4-inch heels. They help their friends move, build a new deck, or get them drunk after being dumped by a girl. The good guys don’t pick a fight, but they won’t back down if something needs to be done. These are the guys who open doors because it’s polite; they don’t think about whether it's PC. Sometimes they joke around about being assholes or jerks, but when you need someone you can count on, they do the right thing. Others might describe them as “... rough around the edges, but has a heart of gold.”

My guy seems to be a good guy-guy. He’s a little ragged on the edges, but not too much. He knows the difference between Tchaikovsky’s Nutcracker and a metal tool used to break walnut shells. He also scared me a bit when I noticed Titanic in his DVD collection … even more when he made me watch the crappy 3 hours of trite nonsense. However, he starts my car when it’s cold outside, knows the name of the town where they make his favorite fishing lure, makes sure his friends get home safely when they’ve been drinking, and lends his muscle when someone needs a hand.

I like guy-guys, especially the good ones … … especially the sexy lovable goofball dorky ones.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Nature vs. Nurture

This is a photo of my gorgeous angel niece. She cleverly decided to wear a pirate patch over one eye because the night light in her room was keeping her awake. She might have given up the light, but she wanted it in case she needed to get up during the night. This seems like a perfect solution.

One might think that my girl is simply creative, however, despite her landlocked condition, I suspect she may have a little bit of pirate in her. After all, if you remember, at one time, I, her favorite aunt, sailed the seven seas as a ruthless pirate. Alongside my sexy pantalooned lover, I greedily plundered, pillaged and ransacked the world over. Perhaps my sassy niece has a bit of the pirate in her as well.

Could it be the way she's been raised? Her respectable, upstanding parents seem to be bring her up right ... so did mine. Hmmm ... Maybe they let her watch MTV.

Nature versus nurture?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Close Enough to Perfect

It’s been 4 months, 1 week and 4 days since we met. After our 3rd date I told him I didn’t think it would work out. I had my reasons and I didn’t lie. He was cool about it. I had other reasons that I kept to myself. When I think back, I was an idiot.

After a month and a few dates with some other guys, I was still thinking about him. He’d left the door open so I called. He was happy to hear from me and said he missed me. I was surprised how much the sound of his voice made me miss him too. We see each other a couple times a week now.

About a month ago he started calling every day. If it were anyone else, I’d probably find such a thing too clingy. There are few people I want to talk to on the phone every day, and no one I want to talk to for more than a few minutes. It’s weird how an hour or two can disappear when we’re laughing about stupid crap.

He has a romantic heart but he isn’t very romantic with me. I’m learning to notice the little things instead. Yesterday, my favorite salad dressing showed up in his refrigerator. A few weeks ago, an anonymous person paid the vet bill when my cat got sick and died. He changed my name in his cell phone to the silly pet name that he calls me when we’re alone together. Romance … I can live without pretty words and promises when his kisses are genuine.

He says he has "issues" and makes jokes about it. I have issues too. Things aren’t perfect. Is anything? Even my perfect red shoes hurt my feet after I’ve worn them a few hours. His number one goal is to not mess things up with me. With all the other good stuff between us, that’s close enough to perfect.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

3 Days

The path stretched forever, or so it seemed. Our rented bicycles rolled along, him leading, then me, at ease in each another’s company.

He calls me Princess or Beautiful. I like the way the words sound in his voice.

We seemed more friends than lovers. He was too young, too far away, too different. But I fell when his arms held me close enough to know his heartbeat, until breathless words affirmed a darker longing.

Time meant little until goodbye … a bittersweet kiss, the sweetest I’ve known.

We only belonged to each other for a while,
A precious instant.

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Love Hurts

I went to church this morning. Even though I have an odd sort of faith that I can’t quite put into words, I absolutely LOVE going to church. Being around other sinners makes me feel comfortable; sitting amongst a group of kind-hearted people makes me feel calm and peaceful; the patterns and rituals settle my soul.

One of the messages I’m often reminded of at church is to keep a generous and open heart even when I’m hurt or afraid. The world has enough pain and fear. I don’t need to add to it. This morning, while I was concentrating on how to be more loving, I thought about a man I work with. He aggravates the hell out of me. His rude, insulting interactions with me always test my limits. About 5 o’clock Friday afternoon, I seriously wanted to rip off his arm and beat him with it. That probably wouldn’t be a very Christian response.
Tomorrow, I won’t rip his arm off. I promise.

I prefer to love people who love me back. All of us do, don't we? However, sometimes there are sweet, unexpected rewards when I’m kind, understanding and generous with a difficult person. At the very least, I feel powerful. I don’t let them control me. I remain true to myself ... the master of my emotions. Even better, sometimes they stop acting like a jackass. That hardly ever happens when I'm defensive and hateful.
Tomorrow, I’m going to love the little prick til it hurts.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008


Being in a REAL relationship feels awkward. It’s like trying to find my way along a forgotten path. Some of the landmarks look familiar, but I’m unsure of my footing and afraid I’ll lose my way. He seems to share the same feeling, maybe even more than I. We walk at HIS pace. Very slow. We don’t take many chances.

I’m learning to trust a little bit. He’s earning that trust. I’ve almost stopped wondering if he will disappear without warning. His presence is becoming familiar and reliable, and his voice eases my wandering fears. I’m pretty sure he has the same fears, but he won’t say so. I won’t ask either. Instead, I make sure he knows that I’m still going to be here tomorrow.

Sometimes when I look at him I’m surprised by how beautiful he is. He doesn’t seem to know he’s beautiful. That’s an even bigger surprise. Other times I notice the pain he’s trying so hard to overcome. It’s almost hard to imagine that this powerful, towering man could ever be broken.

I have more courage than he does so I let him take the lead. He needs to be in charge and I don’t. There’s a certain vulnerability to this arrangement, but the imbalance is subtle so it’s okay for now. I dearly want to keep walking along this path with him. But, it’s not for me to decide or control. I just have to HOPE.

Wednesday, April 02, 2008

Dating Lessons

These are a few things I’ve learned (or re-learned) through my dating experiences this year.

  1. It’s okay to cut my losses and move on.

  2. If something sounds too good to be true, it is.

  3. Taking things slow is good. You don't often hear people say, "The relationship probably would have lasted if only we had jumped in the sack right away."

  4. I don’t have to feel like a loser when someone doesn’t like me.

  5. I don’t have to feel guilty for not liking someone back.

  6. When a guy “takes it like a man”, he’s more attractive.

  7. Sex appeal is only 5% physical.

  8. A little cologne is nice. A lot will ruin an otherwise pleasant evening. I prefer nothing at all.

  9. The guy who borrowed his Mom’s minivan to take me out probably isn’t the right guy for me.

  10. The guy who lit up a joint in the middle of the date probably isn’t the right guy for me either.

  11. Even at my age, some guys get pissy if a girl doesn’t sleep with them on the first date.

  12. Believe it or not, most guys aren’t in a big hurry to jump in bed (Damnit! … teehee)

  13. I have good instincts about people. I shouldn’t ignore that.

  14. As adorable as they are, 20-somethings are too young for me.

  15. A lot of people who use dating sites also ride Harleys and like Nascar.

  16. There are a lot of lonely people in the world, but it’s not my job to save them … not even ONE.

  17. They say that opposites attract, but I’m more of a birds-of-a-feather kind of person.

  18. If a guy gets to be 40 or so and he’s never had a significant relationship, there’s probably a reason.

  19. I’m capable of acting like a cold-hearted bitch.

  20. We are all just trying to be happy. Some people will settle for feeling a little less unhappy.