The Greatest Gift is YOU!
A couple years ago, a woman named Felicia lived across the driveway from me. She was an older, sixty-something gal. Not a lot of people in the neighborhood liked Felicia because she tended to be crotchety. She didn’t like any of the neighbors either. Actually, as far as I could tell, she didn’t like anyone. Wait. That’s not true. Felicia liked children, and she liked me. I liked her too. We’d hang out together between the driveways and talk about our gardens, politics and her volunteer activities. One day Felicia waved me over to ask me a question. She said, "What do you think of Tomato-Red?"I nodded quizzically, "Sure?"
"For my house. I’m thinking about painting my house Tomato-Red. My son thinks it’s too bright, but I think it would be cheerful and add some flair to the neighborhood." As she said the word flair she dramatically flipped her hair and waved a hand in the air.
With a wide grin of approval, I agreed. "You have fantastic taste, Felicia. What could your son possibly know about flair?"
"I knew you’d understand, but I thought I should ask you anyway since you live right next door. I don’t care if anyone else around here likes it or not, but I wanted your approval beforehand." Felicia was thoughtful that way.
Later that week I realized that Felicia probably didn’t have the money to buy paint and hire painters. She was on a limited income, and any extra money was usually donated to charity. She was also disabled and wouldn’t be able to do any of the painting herself. However, I just couldn’t shake the image of her delighted face as she talked about her Tomato-Red house. I decided to organize a painting party the following spring.
Spring came and I found myself horribly busy getting ready for a friend’s wedding. I didn’t have a minute to myself, but I vowed that as soon as it was over, I’d get Felicia’s house painted. It would be a fabulous surprise. I’d already talked with half a dozen friends. Even my Dad was willing to come down for a weekend to help. If everyone pitched in ten or twenty bucks and we spent 2 days working on it, Felicia would have a gorgeous Tomato-Red house. It was a good plan. I just needed a little more time. Just more time.
The day after the wedding, I got the sad news. I was having breakfast with my parents in the Raleigh-Marriott restaurant when my roommate called to tell me that Felicia had died. I knew she’d been sick, but I didn’t realize it was so serious. No one did.
Felicia’s house was sold a month later. The new owners put tan siding on it, almost exactly the color of my house. It’s horribly ugly. I frequently have to fight the urge to sneak over in the middle of the night and paint it Tomato-Red.
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Have you ever wished you hadn’t waited to show your love? Have you ever wanted another chance? Have you ever let complications, distractions or doubt, keep you from doing what’s in your heart?
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My blog-mate, fellow Hot Chik, and dearest friend, Lu is having a really tough time these days. As some of you know, she suffers from severe Bi-Polar Disorder. Her symptoms are debilitating and extremely painful. Pharmaceutical treatments that typically help other people don’t work well for her. Currently, she’s undergoing a change in medications, and while that’s happening, her symptoms are worse than usual. As someone who loves her, it’s hard to see her suffering.
Earlier today, Lu asked me to spend some time with her. Thankfully, she asked for help. Sometimes I ask her for help too. It’s nice that we can do that for each other.
While we were talking, Lu told me that it’s really hard for her to live in her house while she’s experiencing such severe Depression. Her house is currently very disorganized, cluttered and in need of a thorough cleaning. It’s definitely not something a woman with severe Depression can tackle.
It took a while, but I finally managed to convince Lu that it’s okay to ask her friends to help her. People who love her will be glad to help. If they know that a few hours of washing dishes, vacuuming, and sorting & organizing will make her life easier for a while, wild horses won’t be able to stop them. This is how it is when people love each other.
A clean house isn’t going to cure Lu’s Bi-Polar Disorder. However, if it eases her suffering enough that she doesn’t have to go to the hospital, we will essentially be giving her the gift of freedom. That’s a pretty amazing thing. In fact, it’s almost as if Lu is giving us a gift. Finally, after all this time of watching her struggle with this horrible illness, there’s something we can do to help. Not only that, but if I have anything to do with it, it’s going to be a hell of a fun party! Anyone who doesn’t show up is going to be sorry they missed it.
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Have you ever been in a situation where someone you love was sick or hurt and you didn’t know what to do to help? Have you ever watched helplessly while someone you care for suffered? Have you ever felt powerless because you couldn’t think of a way to make it better?
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The Keep Lu Out of the Loonie Bin Party is Saturday July 29th. All our friends are welcome to attend. If you’re our friend and want to attend, call or write to me as soon as possible.
(Space may be limited.)
posted by Theresa @ 7/23/2006 06:35:00 PM
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