Friday, April 01, 2005

Fake It Til You Make It

Yesterday I returned to work after having missed ONE ENTIRE DAY due to illness. I was still feeling like crap, and it was fairly clear to anyone who looked at me that everything evil and foul in the universe had taken residence in or about my respiratory system. Nevertheless, it was impressed upon me how pleased they were to see me back.

One has to admit that it’s good to be valued and feel needed. However, I was fairly certain that I, as a peon, have little to do with whether my Fortune 100 company survives on a daily basis. Apparently, I was wrong. They were happy to see me return so things would stop getting all fucked up. It doesn't make any sense. I swear people; I’m a PEON! When I got the job, I said, okay, I’ll take it, just as long as you promise me there is very little responsibility, and no opportunity for advancement.

So, I had my annual evaluation yesterday too. I already got my big raise a couple months ago, so it was just a feedback meeting, no raise. Guess what? I totally scored on ATTITUDE! My goal for the year was to have my evaluation say that I have a cheerful disposition. YES ! ! ! He said that I have a positive impact on other’s morale and I’m a leader and a role model. I have them totally faked out!

They have no idea what a mean-hearted, sinister, malignant, depraved bitch I really am. Wa ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaaa ! ! !


At 1:27 PM, Blogger Kay said...

Especially since it was clear to all of US that you were not really sick but were taking the day off to design and begin construction on the Cunnilingus Throne!

At 2:51 PM, Blogger Ed said...

Well, Theresa, as you're a leader and role model in blogland I'm sure you are in work too. So I reckon they've got you pretty well pegged.

At 3:28 PM, Blogger Tommy said...

If you show them your design for the throne then that would really help your next evaluation. "You show great creativity and extrodinary attention to detail. That will also greatly impact other's morale."
Hey tell your company that the CT is a new project to help benifit your coworkers morale, maybe they'll give you a budget to complete it.

At 3:06 PM, Blogger Chick said...

I hope you feel less like crap tomorrow.

You, lady, seem (to me) to have a kick ass killer, positive, helpful attitude. You've got the gift of insight...& compassion to go with it.

But you still don't have me fooled. I really know what kind of a depraved, evil bitch you are... & I love you for it...

At 9:19 PM, Blogger Queen Of Pink said...

I hate feeling like crap, it's ass. Hope you are betting much soon. And you don't have me fooled. I know you are a kickass bitchen chick, and you can lead me anywhere.

And yeah, I'll take that Custom Pink Riding Crop. Ooooh!!

At 3:43 PM, Blogger theresa said...

K - One of these days I really will take a day off just for Cunnilingus ... I mean Construction.

Ed - You are always so good for my ego. Stroke away my friend ;)

Tommy - It's not a bad idea, although they already roll their eyes a lot at some of my ideas. "Clothing Optional Day" wasn't well received at all. I still think with a personal sitting towel, its a good idea.

Chick - I'm back to looking for trouble in my healthy body.
Watch Out!
Seems we birds of a feather can see through one another quite handily.
Both you and your Pink friend are the biggest bitches I've come across in a long time!

Pink - I'm on that Crop, Babe!

At 7:10 AM, Blogger B$ said...

Peon's will rule the world one day, just you wait...

My yearly review is this week...cross your fingers.


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