Reducing My "Lack of Sex" Angst
Instead of coming straight home from work tonight, I went for a walk. The weather is fairly pleasant here and the crisp air seemed to sort out my cluttered brain a bit. I didn’t think about anything in particular, which was probably a good thing. After a while, something revolutionary occurred to me.That’s the way it works with people with ADD. We don’t actually think of things the way other people do, they simply occur to us. When we try to think about a specific thing, we end up getting sidetracked onto a dozen other thoughts instead.
Soooo … It occurred to me that I haven’t had a good day in a while. I’ve had some happy and exciting moments, but I haven’t been enjoying my life like I used to. Somehow the absence of sex in my life has become an eclipsing force. I’ve irrationally concluded that until I find a satisfying lover, I won’t have a satisfying life.
What a pile of horseshit! I’m not going to be dependent on someone else to make me happy. That’s just not my style, baby!
On top of it, I’m boring myself to tears thinking about and talking about my lack of sex. For Pete’s sake, if I was honestly and truly desperate for sex, I’d log out of blogland and ring up one of my former special friends for a special date. Or, I could even get the hook out of my ass, get out of this chair and leave my house to make a brand new special friend. I’m not a particularly shy girl. I make friends easily.
In reality, I haven’t hit the desperation point yet. I’ve had a few fearful moments when my reflection in the mirror seemed to have a shadow of desperation around the gills, but fortunately it was only a mirage of my fear.
Indeed, I miss sex very much. However, I need to stop exacerbating my misery by thinking about how much I miss it all the time. Come-on, it's very unlikely that I'll never have sex again, right?
I didn't hear you. Did you say "yes"?
Whew!
I just need to relax and trust that I’ll find my next lover when I’m supposed to find him or her. That’s the way it’s always been. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.
Until then, perhaps I should spend some time enjoying my perfectly delightful life. I like being happy. It looks good on me.
… hmmm, hot naked sexy people look awfully good on me too (tee hee).
posted by Theresa @ 3/16/2005 12:31:00 AM
2 Comments:
Sometimes if you want to find something the best thing is to stop looking.
And I'm sure anything would look good on you, Theresa. :)
Ed, You're the BEST! This weekend the computer is getting fixed and I can finally start reading your blog again. I've missed you terribly. Thanks for keeping in touch.
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