Monday, April 11, 2005

Divine Thoughts from the Love Goddess

Hose Bag

In our society we have a lot of negative words to describe women who enjoy sex and assert themselves to find partners for sex. These words imply that there’s something wrong with the woman. She’s not as good as other women because of her experiences. There’s also an implication that she’s indiscriminate when choosing partners. She’s breaking the rules by not living up to her role as the gatekeeper of sex.

According to what I learned while growing up and from talking to others, women are supposed to have all the self-control. We’re not really supposed to like sex as much as men. Good girls say no because they want to be respected. Even if a woman likes sex a lot, she is supposed to deny her own desires in order to be good. Alternately, men are supposed to love sex and seek it out all the time.

Likewise, we don’t have the same kind of language for men. If you really want to make a grown man cry, you call him a Pussy. That creates a peculiar paradox for men who are particularly fond of pussies.

If men really want to have more sex with more women, they should be challenging every single instance when a woman is called a Slut. Any time a woman is called a Slut, whether she deserves to be called names or not, the double standard is perpetuated. Women might say yes more often if we weren't socialized to believe that it's wrong and we're bad if we do so. Men should be helping to change the rules.

The new rule should be:
Sluts are the BEST kind of women.

Or better yet, we could abolish all the rules that are different for men and women.

Even better, we could accept our individual differences and treat one another with dignity and respect.

While we're making rules, I'd like to suggest one more: Everyone will want to have sex with me.


At 8:33 AM, Blogger Rednaked said...

My personal take on this is proclaim myself a slut every chance I get. I love sex! If that makes me a a slut then so be it. The only power that word has for me is as foreplay from my partner.

At 9:40 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Red - You are a totally sizzlin' Hot Chik.

#9 of the Hot Chik's Code:
Hot Chiks are proud and comfortable with their sexuality. We don’t succumb to society’s double standard that "good girls don’t", and we aren’t necessarily "good girls."

I love how you push your own limits to fully experience yourself as a sexual being.

At 9:54 AM, Blogger Kay said...

What a lovely post, Theresa! I think that part of the problem is that we allow other people to do our discriminating for us. If we choose ten men to sleep with in one year, all for different standards, we may be subject to one of these negative terms because the observer doesn't understand our criteria for discrimination. However, I think we can all agree that when we find one partner who satisfies us completely, we're willing to stay put as long as it lasts. So maybe the only label we need is "Still Searching For My Ideal".

At 11:17 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Very good point Kayten. A wise woman knows that she may have to try on dozens of shoes before choosing the perfect pair. And, the process of shopping can be a whole lot of fun.

At 12:03 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Oh Teresa, I love this post too.

It IS a process (like shoe shopping...I heart you for adding THAT in). Some you definitely could see yourself trying on & falling in love (or lust with). Some look un inspirational & don’t even merit a quick try on...while others, you just know...are going to make you feel fabulous about yourself & the fit is perfect.

& add me to the growing list of people who’d love to try on shoes with you (I was going to spell it out...but...nah...I know The Goddess of love gets it).

At 4:38 PM, Anonymous dick said...

I promise from here on out I will NEVER use the work "slut" because it is ummm..I'm not sure but if it helps me to have sex w/Theresa...
Actually I think you girls should go abnd have as much sex as possible to break down those sterotypes, and if you need to use ..ummm..lets, as a guinnea pig then by God so be it. If I can help liberate women let that be my lot in life.

At 10:12 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Chick - Great elaboration on the shoe shopping metaphore. You said it better than I could have.

Thoughts of zappato adventures with a sexy Chik like you make me tingle down to my toes.

Dick - I'm sure I speak for all womankind when I say that your noble generosity makes me a little misty-eyed. It's so rare to find someone with your genuine self-sacrificing spirit.

At 11:30 PM, Blogger Clark K. said...

Very good point Theresa, however I think sometimes women get these labels for other reasons as well.

I would never use a label on a woman just for trying on shoes, but I might be tempted to if they try to steal those shoes (or mutilate them or something else messed up like that).

I probably still wouldn't say anything like that, but as I said, would be tempted...

At 12:48 AM, Blogger theresa said...

MIM - Your point is well taken. There are women in the world who are just as capable of evil, cruel, vicious behavior as any man. The point is, we shouldn't have language that's specifically designed to limit a woman's sexual freedom.

Call her a slimy rotten foul fuck-head if you want. Those are the kind of words that easily cross genders.

At 12:50 AM, Blogger Queen Of Pink said...

I claim it loud and I claim it proud, "I LOVE SEX". Fuck the rest of them.

Literally and figuratively.

Why the hell would I want to be a "good girl"? Bad girls have all the fun. Besides who wants to fuck a good girl?

Not me.

At 3:07 AM, Anonymous dick said...

hey it's 4 am still up?

At 7:42 AM, Blogger Yacky said...

well, Theresa, I don't want to break any rules. So, just let me know the date, time, and location that we're supposed to meet.

At 3:43 PM, Blogger SunsetMan said...

I never use those words when describing a woman. Yes I "want to have sex with" you. But... Guess I will settle for Ms Palm. Again :-(

At 10:32 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

Mostly girls here, as usual. But, judging from the traffic at my site that comes from here, I know you have a lot of gentleman callers. I hope they stay long enough to learn something from you.
As for me, I celebrate The Slut. May she live forever, and may she have fun with the mates of her choosing, and to hell with those who judge and criticize.

At 11:06 PM, Blogger theresa said...

QoP - Girl, you're the biggest, baddest Slut I know! Who do you think inspired this post?

Dick - If you want some private time, try email Babycakes!

Yacky - If I've counted correctly, you're third in line behind Chick and Dick.

Thanks for stopping by Sunset Man. You and Ms. Palm are always welcome. If I'm not completely exhausted, you're 4th.

Larry - Perhaps only the bravest of men have the nerve to leave a comment.
You've always struck me as a man who genuinely believes that women are people too. More than that, you really love us.

At 10:59 AM, Blogger Rednaked said...

Hey T
Have you concidered a blogring or something similar? Like S.L.U.T. Chiks

Sexy Lusty Over the Top Chiks -
All proclaiming We Love Sex!!!

If you ask really nice maybe QoP will let her awesome boob pic be the logo.

At 8:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

amen! amen! amen!

I hate the term, "slut"
It's a putdown and I can't believe that 12 year olds call each other that. *sigh*



Post a Comment

<< Home