2 hot chiks

Surviving Birthdays Hot Chik Style: Part I

I'm counting down the days until I reach the annual anniversary of my birth. Damn! Didn’t we just do this a couple months ago? The older you get the faster it goes, my friends.

Over the years I’ve discovered a few things about surviving birthdays. Because I’m a loving and generous gal, I’m going to share some of my wisdom with you. Today’s lesson is about asking for what you need.

The goal is to feel good about yourself and not be dependent on the approval of others for that good feeling. However, reality sucks! And sometimes even a Hot Chik needs a little boost.

Direct Approach:

"Do I look old?"

If you’re going to use this approach to ask for what you need, be smart about it.

* Do not ask a child or a teenager. They don’t have a clue what old is. Everyone over 30 looks the same to them.

* If you ask your partner, don’t ask him/her when he’s running late for work and searching for his keys. If you end up getting the "Huh? Fine Honey. Yeah, sure, nice" response, you’ll be bummed and he’ll be in the doghouse.

* Do not ask my brother. He knows all the buttons to push, and this would provide him with even more ammunition for future torture. (At our age, you’d think he’d give it up!) In fact, if anyone even mentions to him that I have angst about looking old, I’ll sic my Mom on you!

Best scenario: Make a pact with a few of your best gal pals. Agree to the ground rules and be available for age-angst birthday crisis. We Hot Chiks know all the right answers.

• Laugh lines look gorgeous on you, and they show your happy enthusiasm for life.
• Gray hair doesn’t look good on everyone, but on you it works. If you decide you don’t like it, I know a great colorist.
• I’d fuck ya!
• Most men really want a woman with experience. If they don’t, they’re immature little boys who we wouldn’t waste our time with.
• Not a day over …

Sometimes I use a Less Direct Approach. I lie.

Instead of lying and telling people that I’m younger than I really am, I tell them that I’m older. Then I get the alarmed response, "WOW! I never would have guessed!"

It was a lot of fun at work for a while because everyone was trying to figure out my real age without actually asking. Finally people caught on to my game and I had to fess up. I can still play with new people though.

When there are a group of newbies, I’m fond of telling them that I’m 49 and the mother of six, the youngest of which are twin savants, studying the Pan Flute in Athens. It’s amazing what people will buy if you look sincere and maintain eye contact.

Isn’t life fun?

DON’T SAY HAPPY BIRTHDAY YET ! ! !

I’M STILL 40 UNTIL NEXT WEEK ! ! !

Don’t worry, I’ll keep reminding you.

posted by Theresa @ 5/11/2005 12:10:00 PM