Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Don't Give the Mayor Any of Your Sass!

I talked to my Mom for a while this weekend. She’s so busy with her new job as the Mayor of her tiny little village that it’s difficult to catch her at home. It sounds like she’s doing great in the short month she’s been on the job. Apparently, there are a few more duties than running the monthly Council meeting and showing up for the annual 4-H awards banquet.

She's already had to deal with a number of angry neighbor issues. One person had a neighbor with a family of skunks living in a brush pile in the back yard. And, just down the road, a fella who raises a few chickens, was upset about the skunks too. Those nasty skunks weren’t just stinkin’ up the place. They were after his chickens! The same week, she got a call about 3 junk cars in one person’s yard. Doesn't everyone know that the village ordinance clearly states that there can only be one junk car per yard.

Mom visited with everyone and came up with some ideas, but she needed help from the local rent-a-cop dude. That’s when things got really interesting.

Apparently, when my Mom asked Mr. Rent-A-Cop to address the problems according to her well-thought-out plan, Mr. R-A-C got sassy. He had the nerve to say something to the tune of, "Why should I do what you say?"

I gasped in horror when I heard that. The dude is either suicidal, or he doesn’t know my Mom. All she’d have to do is grab him by the top of his ear and drag him around talking about how she doesn’t appreciate being talked back to like that. In less than 90 seconds, he’d wish he was dead. No one gives my Mom any lip.

I said, "Did you tell him ‘Because I’m the Mom … I mean, the Mayor, that’s why’?"

She said that she reminded him of his job description and he went away. However, a few days later he called to report that the skunks were gone, the chickens were safe, and the junk-car yard was now within the one car per yard limit. He was also very sweet and polite to her. When I asked if she did the ear-lecture-torture thing to him, she said that it wasn’t necessary. It seems that payday was right after their first conversation. Mr. R-A-C must have noticed Mom’s signature at the bottom of his paycheck.

.... I still kinda hope she does the ear thing to him. He's got some nerve getting sassy with my Mom!


At 8:57 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

It's quite evident that you were well trained in the Art of Hot Chik by one awesome woman!! :)

At 10:05 AM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

Sheesh, remind me not to tell you "No"! With genes like that in your blood, I'd rather just let you have your way.

At 11:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Has she ever thought of running for governor?

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

All right! Democracy in action!

At 12:47 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Can she get away with a quick kick to his nuts...just 'cuz he gave her some lip?

At 4:02 PM, Blogger Queen Of Pink said...

Some men will never learn not to mess with a woman. Because we all have power.

Go Mayor Mom!!

At 11:06 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Tiger - I hope that I'm a lot like my Mom. She keeps getting smarter, stronger, and more confident every year. Through it all, she never loses her generosity and kindness. I'm really proud of her.

Ron - Glad I didn't have to break out the riding crop ... or am I?

Anon - The governor could learn a few things from Mom.

Larry - I can't wait to get her report from the State Mayor's convention. I'm going to see if I can go along and lurk.

Chick - Mom would get a "kick" out of that thought. You two would love each other.

Queen - You speak the truth my Hot Pink Friend! Thankfully other men are more enlightened.


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