Sunday, January 09, 2005

Pussy Chat




Since we are all so feverishly excited about 2005: Year of Cunnilingus, I thought we should have a chat about the wonder of wonders, The Pussy.

Have you heard that some folks genuinely believe pussies are unattractive and smelly? It’s doubtful that any of them read this blog. They’re probably all hanging out over on the Vagina-Envy blog or the Bumpin'-Uglies-is-Ugly blog.


In reality, a woman’s genitalia is extraordinary to look at. Gals, go get a hand mirror and take a look. Even though we all look different down there, I bet yours looks really beautiful. Our own Georgia O’Keefe created phenomenal paintings of pussies (or flowers, depending on your interpretation). Many of them hang in art museums around the world. She painted Cala Lillies in Red in 1928. I want it!

On the outside, a pussy is soft and smooth. It’s covered with lovely hair that Mother Nature meant for us to keep (*more about that later). All the other bits are tucked in a cosy little package, called the Vulva. When most women are aroused, their vulva will deepen in color and get kind of puffy. Pretty cool, huh? When you spread apart the vulva, you will discover, to your amazement and wonder, that there are two sets of lips, the labia majora (the big ones on the outside), and the labia minora (the little ones on the inside).

"Whoa!", you say?

It’s all true. I wouldn’t lie about the blessed and wondrous cunt. These lips keep all the inside stuff protected and clean, specifically the clitoris and the vagina. Around the base of the lips is the vaginal opening. The vagina expands in size and gets ripe and juicy when a girl is sizzlin’.

Magical Cunny-land is toward the top of the lips, at the peak, just inside the little ones. This is where the enigmatic pearl, called the Clitoris lives in her special hooded house. The clitoris is the most sensational piece of flesh in the world. As I’ve mentioned before, it has twice as many nerve endings as an entire gigantoid penis (mine can also speak 47 different languages). If you lick, rub, suck, or otherwise stimulate the clit just so, it will get really happy and make an orgasm. An orgasm makes everyone happy!

Now, try to tell me that pussies aren’t anything but stupendously breath-taking. If my description hasn’t convinced you, go take a look at one ... or a dozen.

* A personal note: When women completely shave their pussy hair, they look like pre-pubescent girls. I have a difficult time with folks who get off on that. It’s one thing to keep things trim and tidy, but it’s altogether different to take it all away. Additionally, when there’s no hair down there, sexual activity becomes uncomfortable for a lot of women. I can’t imagine a rough and tumble jungle-fuck session without the cushiony comfort of my muff. Also, after I fight off the urge to heave, I find it personally insulting when someone suggests I shave it all off.

A response to Royce’s hygiene concerns: (he commented on the 1st Cunnilingus Campaign post).

The Love Goddess shouldn't have to remind everyone that issues of hygiene go both ways, but I will, cuz I want to be crystal clear on that point. I also have a handy little tip to share with the gals. Sorry boys, you’re on your own, unless you happen to carry a Man-Purse.

The Hot Chik Pussy Tip:
The Hot Chik who is thinking ahead will stash the o-so-handy Kleenex "Splash 'n Go!" moist wipes in her handbag. They are alcohol free and have Aloe and Vitamin E for sensitive skin. The scent is pleasant too. Also, the package is flexible and resealable, so you can keep the other 13 fresh until you meet again. (Note: these also work well to tidy up the
sex toys after use. If you want tips on stash-able sex toys, email me).

7 Comments:

At 1:00 PM, Blogger Kay said...

Oh, I LOVE Georgia's work, no surprise, huh? (At least her flower pussies, not so much on the cow skulls and southwestern landscapes.) Thanks for the tip on the splash and go's - so many of those "fresheners" are overpoweringly scented or vinegary. Please do a whole post on stashable sex toys when you get the chance.

Your ever-grateful reader,
Kayten

 
At 1:39 PM, Blogger theresa said...

I'm with you on the cow skulls, but I love the abstracts, landscapes and the flowers. I also recently discovered a couple nudes from her early work.

I'll get right on that sex-toy post. There may be some at-home testing involved to make sure I'm passing on quality advice.

 
At 8:50 PM, Blogger John Q. Public said...

Theresa, you and I are on the same page so much of the time it's scary - I've been trying to frame my thoughts on "Ode to the Pussy" for a few days now, and am having a hard time (no pun intended) coming up with the right words, so I don't sound like a pig. I guess it helps to actually own one.

 
At 2:51 PM, Blogger Mercy said...

Love the tip on Splash N Go ... totally getting some stock!

 
At 12:59 AM, Blogger Jay said...

After Kitti and I had a daughter I started to look at hair a bit differently and I agree, a trim is great but I wouldn't want Kitti to be hairless down there. I want a woman in my bed, not a child.

Jay

 
At 7:38 PM, Blogger zenboy99 said...

Amen, sister. There is nothing so laudable on God's green earth than the pussy. A structure so complex, yet simple - with the only human body part designed solely for pleasure. Is this not to be worshipped? Many fruitful hours have been spent in such blissful activity and will be so in the future.

 
At 12:02 PM, Blogger Lu said...

Just a quick little note to Zenboy:
I understand what you meant in your comment, but don't forget that the pussy has another purpose besides pleasure--it is the doorway to the birth canal. And that's a damn beautiful thing, too.

--Lu

 

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