Thursday, December 30, 2004

Sometimes You Should Just Keep Walking

I was walking back to my desk today when I came upon two attractive young men who I frequently flirt with when I’m bored at work. As I rounded the corner, I noticed them chatting while they held up a perfectly stable file cabinet.

"So, is this where all the cool kids hang out?" I inquired.

"Hell yes!" the more gregarious of the two replied. "How are you, Theresa?"

"I couldn’t be better, Love. Thank you for asking. So, what do the coolest of the cool kids have to say today?"

The other earnestly reported, "We were just talking about having a really bad case of The Shits. You know, Fire-rhea. Like when you eat something really spicy and then it burns your asshole on the way out."

As his words registered in my mind, I noticed that my forehead had gone numb. Rather than say anything more, I turned my scrunched up face around and willed my body to walk it far away from what I might possibly hear next. I paused after a few steps to leave them with a nostalgic thought, "I remember when the cool kids used to share a smoke and talk about where to get the best weed. Call me if you get around to that part."

At that, the first guy laughed really loud, like he always does when I say something even remotely funny.

But the second guy apparently hadn't had enough of creeping me out. As I glanced at him, he did that pointy-finger-gun gesture and winked at me. Only guys who are over 65 do that pointy-finger-gun-wink thingy. This guy isn’t a day over 25. It was really creepy. Why can't he act his fucking age?

The whole experience was very disconcerting. I spent the rest of the day in my Cubical Corner of Shame trying to make sense of the world and earn my keep.


At 2:27 PM, Blogger Lu said...

It's stories like this that make me so glad I'm out of the workplace...



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