Wednesday, December 29, 2004

Goals and Wishes for 2005

Based on the fact that the majority of New Year’s resolutions are abandoned by Ground Hog’s Day (my favorite holiday), it seems fruitless to make such things. However, the single common behavior practiced by the 100 most successful people in our society (success being defined by money, power and status) is that the large majority of these successful blokes, at some time in their past, wrote down their goals and wishes. Even though I have no genuine desire to be rich and powerful, I am hoping the practice of writing down my goals is generalizable to my way of life.

I’m thinking that even if I only hit one or two of my goals and wishes, it will be a damn good year. I can always continue those that are incomplete into 2006. It’s not like I have to ask the teacher for a damn extension on my homework. I can take as long as I want to make these little desires of mine a reality.

For a little perspective, I have to say that 2004 wasn’t entirely bad. We had some really good times. There were lots of wonderful opportunities to play with friends and family. I had lots of great sex. Drunken debauchery and tomfoolery were a regular part of our agenda. I made great new friends and re-connected with a wonderful old friend. And, lots of other good stuff happened.

However, despite the good stuff, 2004 sucked a bit: We were as broke as we’ve ever been. I gained ten pounds because I failed to realize that the calories really don’t fall out of the cookies when they break. Monkey Man’s really cool Grandpa died. Danny Greenjeans’ Dad died. My heart was broken twice. I broke my best friend’s heart. Monkey Man got Diabetes. Lu got double pneumonia and Diabetes. I had bad sex. I turned 40 years old and found a wrinkle big enough to park the Honda in it. And, some other stuff that I don’t feel like mentioning.

Needless to say, 2005 doesn’t have a lot of competition. This is what I’d like to have happen:

  • I will revive the After-Five Pill-Box hat as a common fashion accessory for cocktail parties and other festive occasions.
  • I will discover a pair of underwear that doesn’t crawl up my ass, doesn’t slide down and is also extremely sexy.
  • I will finish my Master’s degree.
  • I will not play with people who have the IQ of a tangerine peel solely for my amusement.
  • I will take a vacation by myself.
  • I will find a new hair stylist who’s not afraid to cut my hair without the aid of a whip and a chair.
  • I will repair my cello and learn to play again.
  • I will have a composed appearance when I’m having sexual fantasies at work.
  • I will care for my body through exercise and a healthy diet without becoming an obsessive freak.
  • I will strive to be brave and courageous, taking action out of a sense of rightness and adventure rather than fear.
  • I will build a fan-fucking-tastic dress to wear in the gayest of gay southern weddings this world has ever seen (May 2005).

I've always been of the mindset to love and appreciate other people's unique qualities while chastising myself for my own imperfections. Perhaps this year I will stop doing that ... or I'll do it a little bit less.


At 10:29 AM, Blogger John Q. Public said...

Excellent list of goals. You may want to reassess not toying with those of the room temperature IQ though - you've got to have some fun, right?

At 12:54 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Joe, you make a good point. I think the compromise is to only mess with the mean and stupid, and take care to leave the sweet simpletons alone.


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