Thursday, December 16, 2004

Dream Job

I've recently come to the sad realization that I've had more jobs than lovers in my life. While that can easily be changed, at this particular moment, I wish I had a different job. I have vast and diverse experience, but I don't know how much good it will do me since I'm not interested in any of the things I've already done.

Jobs I’ve had:
Dietary Aid
Cellist in a Symphony Orchestra

Cook at a Vegetarian Day Care Center
Department Store Clerk
Family Therapist
Crisis Counselor
Substance Abuse Counselor
Residential Treatment Counselor
Program Director for Homeless Teenagers
Director of a Rape Crisis Center
Girl Scout Camp Counselor
Electronic Composer (business forms)
Sandwich Maker
Teacher – Social Work & Human Sexuality
Tutor – math, english & social sciences
Library Assistant
Mailroom Assistant

Common advice is to get a job doing something related to what you already enjoy. Based on that wisdom, I've come up with a short list.

Jobs I Want:
Wig model
Sex toy tester
Graffiti Artist
Lady of Leisure
Hugh Jackman’s (unethical) Sex Therapist
Drag Queen Cabaret Review Columnist
Roadie Ho
Puppy Snuggler
Pool Shark
Erotic Fiction Muse
Eddie Izzard’s Chauffeur
The person who fires Regis Philbin
The Tooth Fairy (the outfit seems cool)
High profile professional Jockey
The person who comes up with the names for lipstick colors
Cher Impersonator

Since I've gotten nearly every job I've ever interviewed for, I'm thinking all I need to do is land an interview and one of these dream jobs will be mine!


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