Wednesday, December 01, 2004

The Perfect Lover

  1. Laughs easily and often
  2. Likes to have sex a lot (at least once a day)
  3. Has a belly (ummm, I love man belly)
  4. Isn’t concerned about the size of his penis (that is such a tired cliché)
  5. Doesn’t argue with me about using condoms
  6. Likes the quiet, not talking time
  7. Makes dinner so I can lie around like a big lazy dog once in a while
  8. Believes money is for throwing off the back of a train (thank you Tom Waits)
  9. Loves my dogs
  10. Loves my cat
  11. Adores his mother
  12. Doesn’t need to know where I am 24 / 7
  13. Knows how to parallel park
  14. Kisses my neck when I’m doing the dishes
  15. Isn’t threatened or jealous of my sex toys
  16. Knows that a great Martini requires at least 4 olives
  17. Doesn’t complain about my messy car
  18. Isn’t racist, classist, sexist, homophobic, or overly concerned with physical appearance
  19. Knows that the word "espresso" doesn’t have an "x" in it, so you don’t pronounce it "expresso"
  20. Never keeps secrets from me because he’s afraid I’ll get upset
  21. Tucks me in bed at night even when he’s not sleepy yet
  22. Surprises me with little treasures
  23. Asks me if I want to drive
  24. Knows all the ways of kissing really well
  25. Can play pool at least as well as I do
  26. Makes sexy noises when I bend over to fasten my shoes
  27. Never asks how much my new outfit cost (if I can’t afford it, I won’t eat)
  28. Lets me fall asleep on him while we’re watching TV (instead of whining, "You’re making me hot" or "I can’t feel my whole left side")
  29. Never makes shit of me for being afraid of mice
  30. Looks at me that "special" way when I’m not paying attention
  31. Tells me that I’m gorgeous, but what really turns him on is that I’m smart
  32. Fusses over the dinner that took me 3 hours to prepare
  33. Sends flowers the day after

3 Comments:

At 11:05 AM, Blogger Lu said...

Sorry, T--Steve's already spoken for.

 
At 9:57 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Wow, that's kind of creepy. I just read the list and thought of Steve. The only problem is that you don't do dishes so the neck-kissy thing doesn't apply.

He's all yours anyway. You guys are the strangest people I know. You deserve one another.

 
At 10:29 AM, Blogger greenman said...

hmm, thanks for the list now I can print it up and know what to start working on.

First step, Parallel Parking!

 

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