Dear Love Goddess,
As The Love Goddess, I get gads of mail requesting advice on the topic of Love and Sex. While I am still in the process of enthusiastically exploring the vast Universe of Love, I do the best I can to offer my support. I thought it would be interesting to share some of these correspondences.Dear Love Goddess,
~I masturbate regularly. I don't worry about it too much because you've said on numerous occasions that masturbation is very healthy. However, my cat always watches me when I do it. Is that wrong? Could I be warping his innocent little kitty mind?
~Sincerely, The Cat’s Meow
Dear Cat’s Meow,
~Your cat is clearly stimulated by your vigorous activity, however, he’s not sexually stimulated. To kitty, it’s like watching a little mouse going in and out of a hole. As long as you’re comfortable with your pet watching, there shouldn’t be a problem. But, to ease my mind, you tidy up afterward, not kitty. Right ?
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Dear L.G.,
~I think about sex all the time. It doesn’t matter where I am, I’m always thinking about doin’ it. Whether I’m in class, grocery shopping, at the gym, or watching TV with my buddies, I’m thinking about it. Sometimes when people are talking to me, I don’t hear half of what they say because I’m thinking about sex. How can I get control of my life?
~Yours Truly, 1-Trak-Mind
Dear 1-Trak,
~Could you repeat that last part again . . . .
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Dear Love Goddess,
~How do you know when you’re really in love. Everyone says, "You just know it", but there must be a better answer than that.
~Thanks, Curious About Love
Dear Curious,
~People who say, "You just know it" are dumb-asses who haven’t had the pleasure of multiple orgasms. Once you’ve had multiples, then you know you’re in love. That is why I truly Love my Hitachi Magic Wand!
The other sign of true love is a terrible agitated feeling like poison ivy in your head.
posted by Theresa @ 12/01/2004 01:32:00 AM
4 Comments:
That first one is sick and gross. Yuck! Are you sure you're not the Perv Goddess?
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Hey Todd, or whoever you are, I'm just trying not to be judgemental. Personally, I ask my pets to leave the room when I'm having sex, whether I'm with someone else or alone.
Lu: I was also sent the same e-mail. I traced it back and found out it was from my Hitachi Magic Wand. What a Show-Off!
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