Sunday, June 25, 2006

She Wanted it Bad

Helen spent hours thinking about what her life would be like when she finally had it. She believed in the power of the mind. If a person visualized their desires, they could make them a reality. She focused on every detail. She knew exactly what she would do, how she would feel, what she would say, the way other people would treat her, and most importantly, how her life would change forever. Everything was all planned out. She just had to focus and be patient. Once it happened, nothing else would matter.

It was something she worked on every day. She was committed and diligent. She knew if she missed a day, if she gave up hope, the opportunity she’d been waiting for might slip through her fingers. So, just like the morning before, and the morning before that, Helen pulled into the gas station. She shifted into park and chanted a sacred prayer, "You can’t win if you don’t play".


She was prompt and predictable. The attendant had her rung up before she walked in the door. And just like every other day, she mumbled good morning, tossed a five on the counter, and seized the tickets with a lusty thirst.

Before she reached the car, Helen had already ripped through four of the tickets. She couldn't help herself. She had to know right away. She pressed them into the palm of her hand and methodically scratched the silver game blocks with her lucky nickel. When she got to the last one, she paused, held it in front of her lips, and whispered, "please, please, please". Leaning against the hood of the car, she scratched slowly and deliberately. When she finished, she stared in disbelief. Defeated once again.

Settling into the worn seat of her Taurus, Helen sighed and tossed her purse onto a blanket of last weeks losses. She lit a cigarette. "Not today", she exhaled. "Maybe tomorrow." And just as she'd done countless mornings before, she resolved to use her will to make it happen. She turned the ignition and turned a page in her mind, imagining the elation of holding her winning ticket tomorrow.

11 Comments:

At 3:41 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

ICK!

 
At 6:40 PM, Blogger Spin_Doc1 said...

Oh I don't know if I like this one. You tricked me!

 
At 7:35 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Ron - YES!!!

Spin - [grin] That makes me very happy.

 
At 11:37 PM, Blogger naive-no-more said...

I picture her looking like one of those little old ladies in front of a slot machine at the casino. Wrinkly and smoking and wearing a fanny pack.

Great writing.

 
At 12:15 AM, Blogger Julie said...

I LOVE when you write about yourself, I think you are brutally honest and beautiful. And I was tickled to see that you have talent for fiction (or at least I assume it is) and really creating a great story. You are so talented!

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger something from me said...

Hi.
You are correct again. There will be a few scene changes along the way though.
Any advise on increasing traffic. I notice you seem to have a lot of readers.

I am always holding a few winning tickets.

SM

 
At 8:42 AM, Blogger Dick the Boomer said...

I admire her for her optimism, and yet I feel sadness for her.

 
At 9:54 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

I'm with Spin, in that I thought it was going to be about breaking away from a crappy relationship. Although it is, it is about breaking away from a crappy relationship with money.

But I like it. I like your writing because it tricks me.

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Ever hopeful .....

 
At 8:51 PM, Blogger Polyman2 said...

So then what'd you do?
ha. Sorry...
Nice writing kiddo.

 
At 11:40 AM, Blogger Al said...

Killing me T Kill-en-me

 

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