Tuesday, June 20, 2006

For What it's Worth

I waited for him to return from work
Read books
Wrote my papers
Made myself the best I could be
And when he came home, we made love
Until I found out he was married
I was more angry than hurt.

I waited for him to figure it out
Cried a lot
Focused on work
Challenged my limits to be better and better
And when he realized what he had
I’d already moved on
I was sad that he’d been afraid.

I waited for him to notice my sadness
Endured empty spaces
Found substitutes
Became a master of deceit
And when I choked on the lies I told myself
The future looked vague and uncertain
I grieved the loss of our dreams.

I waited for him to make up his mind
Paced the floor
Looked into my soul
Discovered chilling frailties
And when he chose someone else
I had to stand on my own
I was stronger than I had imagined.

I waited
And the whole time I waited
I lived
Breathed
Learned
Loved
Hoped
Hoped
Hoped
Hoped

I’m good at waiting
And hoping
There must be something worth it.

8 Comments:

At 10:55 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

Maybe.

 
At 11:04 PM, Blogger naive-no-more said...

Definitely.

 
At 2:01 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Powerful, T., powerful.

Don't wait, honey; always speak!

A soul can't be saved on it's own.
So don't wait, and just sit, all alone.

A soul must be shared,
in order to gain.
So speak!
And you will know either way.

 
At 7:58 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Ron - The alternative might be to settle for less than what I want.

Naive - A decisive answer from a woman with faith.

Steve - I don't think anyone could ever truly see me as someone who suffers in silence. Those who ignore me are stone cold deaf.
And, don't fret Sweetheart. Presently, I'm not really alone. This is much more about the past.

 
At 8:16 AM, Blogger Dick the Boomer said...

You not only hope there is, you KNOW there is.

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger Spin_Doc1 said...

I was going to say, "I hope this is from the past" and I am happy that it is.

 
At 9:06 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Dick - *smile* Have you been wandering around in my head?

Spin-Chik - Sometimes reflecting on my past helps me appreciate where I am in the present ... but, you know how that works.

 
At 11:34 PM, Blogger ZooooM said...

How does the Earth not crack open and try and hug you every time you post?

 

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