Tuesday, February 22, 2005


I’ve been told that I can be intimidating. Perhaps it’s because I have shoulders like a line-backer. Maybe it’s the scary crazy hair. It could be that I’m nearly six feet tall when I wear heels, and I walk very deliberately, making as much racket as I care to. However, I think it has more to do with the fact that on the rare occasion when something sets me off, even if I don’t say a word, the laser-beams in my eyes might stop you dead in your tracks. If I do decide to speak, take cover!

I’ve been letting things build up and I NEED TO RANT.

My rants usually take the form of me marching back and forth through the house telling the walls and all its inhabitants exactly what I think of said "bullshit". Every once in a while I go outside for a smoke, and make sure the neighbors get to hear about it too, but well … damn! I HATE NOT SMOKING ! ! ! How the hell do you people do it? What do you do when you pause during a rant?

I’m generally a very very tolerant person. I go out of my way to understand all the perspectives and the various shades of gray. However, there are some things that are just WRONG!


And I am soooo tired of all the –isms.


I’m tired of the guy who says, "No, wait a second, this is really a funny joke. I know it’s racist, but I told my Hispanic friend Marco, and he laughed."

I don’t give a rat’s ass! I still don’t want to hear it. And, you are an idiot if you think it’s okay to tell that stupid joke just because Marco laughed! Racist jokes will never be funny. EVER!

I’m sick of hearing people talk about "those people" as if they know a goddamn thing about "those people". If you ask them how they know, you get some lame explanation, "because my 5th cousin twice removed once sold one of them a loaf of bread…"

Ah, the "Sample of One, Twice-Removed, Scientific Method of Study". Very fucking reliable! Why don’t you write that up and submit it as your dissertation, Einstein?

I hope I never have to hear another person say, "I don’t mind gay people as long as I don’t have to see IT, and as long as they don’t touch me." Did you ever wonder how a gay person feels having to be around your nasty ass while you’re groping up your girlfriend in line at the Quickee Mart? I’m sure every little queer boy is just waiting for his chance to get a big stud like you all alone.

Get the fuck over yourself and stop making a spectacle of yourself at the Quickee Mart!

I love/hate that people treat me better now than when I was fat. I’m talking about strangers, not my friends. When I was fat, I was nearly invisible until I wanted to be seen. Now, I have to put effort into becoming invisible … but it won’t last. Soon, I’ll get older, and even pretty women become invisible as they age, unless you’re Cher.

I’m tired of the over-emphasis on women’s appearance. I’m tired of expending precious energy caring about my physical imperfections. It’s not okay with me that my 7 year-old niece lives in a world where what she looks like matters more than who she is or what she can do!

I hate that someone called Cricket weird because she likes sex. I hate that I’m called weird, and worse names because I like sex. It sucks that women who enjoy sex are labeled. Oh, I don’t want to hear about it from the guys who say, "I wish I could find a girl like that, blah, blah, blah".

Show me, don’t tell me!

What happens instead is that the men I meet get all intimidated and freaked-out. They decide I'm too much for them, or too intense or god-knows-what. Jeez, you tell me! (albiet, if any of them met me during a rant, they’d have every right to think of me as too intense)

I’m tired of hearing some guys complain about how they aren’t getting any. All the girls they’ve been with won’t do the freaky things they want them to do, but when a gal comes along who is sexually confident and knows what she wants, she’s a "Hose-Bag" or a "Slut". If she has too much experience, he gets all freaked out.

And, why is that, people? Really? I think you know! And, IT’S NOT OKAY!

I hate the lack of tolerance of sexual diversity. Even people who think of themselves as kindof freaky, are judgmental of people who aren’t freaky. Fuck! Get over your freaky self! I’m not talking about sexual orientation, I’m talking about our preferences, what floats your boat. Do we like straight-up vanilla sex, or do we like it a little kinky? Does the Little Red Riding Crop excite you? Would you rather hold it or be on the snappy end? How about oral sex? Anal sex? Heavy bondage? Sub/Dom Lifestyle? Fetish’s? Role-play games? Or Sex parties? Some of us might say "No" to some or most of these things. Does that make us bad or intolerant? Hell No! It just means we have different preferences. Do we have to condemn people who don’t like the same things we do? Hell No!

Here’s a novel concept: Lets treat everyone the same way we’d like to be treated!

This may come as a surprise, but


As the Director of a Rape Crisis Center I met women who had survived the porn industry. I heard their stories, dozens of awful stories. For every happy, healthy, bouncy porn star you see on the talk show circuit telling her fairy-tale story of good treatment, fame and glory, there are hundreds more who are abused, exploited and mistreated.

Hey, I’m a big bad voyeur! As much as I love hearing the neighbors having sex, and as much as I’d love to be able to watch porn, I simply can’t get into the double penetration scene without wondering whether the gal at the center of attention is fully consenting, under the influence or being coerced into that role. By the time the scene is over, I’m a bag of nerves … and not the good kind.

*Fortunately, I’ve discovered a small collection of porn that is completely owned and made by women. It’s good stuff and nobody got hurt.

Here's a cool thing:
Internet porn sites use a variety of nasty devices to get people’s attention, including violence. Try googling the word "Rape" and see how many porn sites you get? Inadvertently, the name of this site, 2hotchiks, attracts people looking for porn. HA! No porn here! We accidentally tricked them at their own game. We’ve been getting over 1000 hits a week for the past 6 weeks. I have no idea what benefit that may have for us, but somehow it feels like revenge against the mutherfuckers that use Rape to get porn customers.

I’m done for a few months.
Congratulations! If you’ve made it this far, you’re nearly as loopy as I am!


At 7:45 AM, Blogger Bent said...

Why men would not absolutely dig a confident, aggressive sexually uninhibited woman is beyond me...I guess it just speaks to their own insecurity.

At 7:51 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Better to rant with the keyboard then to rant with that ciggy.... makes me as a reader feel good that you are strong enough to find a different release of your inner beast than smoking....you go girl!!

At 8:16 AM, Blogger Glorious Nonsense said...

Hey, where do you get the good porn? I wanna see!

At 9:06 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

OMG. Stopping at the 7 year old living in a world where what she looks like matters more--because HELL YEAH!!!

My FIVE YEAR OLD daughter won't wear this (really--REALLY--cute) pair of running pants because they "make her look fat."

She's like a STICK. And I don't talk like that so... y'know. It's the outside world. And she's FIVE.

THAT is just f-ing SICK.

Going back to reading now.

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

...yeah I just found some of that "good porn" which I've been complaining about... well mostly to MYself! ;) forEVER... That some GOOD women need to get into the porn industry... and make sure it's 1) SEXY and not just vulgar, crude, inelegant and disgusting and well... everything that most (American specifically) porn IS. And yeah 2) that nobody gets hurt.

Because it's really awful to actual SEE THAT LOOK on a woman's face... And sometimes (lots of times) you CAN. & it's horrible.

At 12:37 PM, Blogger Rednaked said...

Well said. I'm with you.

At 12:44 PM, Blogger Opaco said...

i like porn. i like to watch. but, i too don't care for the type that looks painful or is overly aggressive. it doesn't make sense to me. most of the time it ends up looking like a rape scene.
not my cup of tea.

At 1:07 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Whoa...you are a ranting fool...go, go, go...get it all the hell out! Feels good, right? (I think I'm loopy now too).

Good porn? I'm with GN in asking...where? Does this sound like an interesting topic for your next post?

...as for you & Cricket being weird? What's wrong with that? Aren't we all kinda weird? But...I mean that in the best possible way...those assholes don't.

At 3:33 PM, Blogger Dannyness said...

Gotta agree with Chick. Weird = interesting as far as I'm concerned.

Theresa and Lu, you should call this website "Hot Girl on Girl Action" to try and convert even more dickheads.

At 4:49 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

Go get 'em, Theresa!

At 6:40 PM, Blogger cricket said...

you rant very well, hun, i am muy impressed, and a little bit scared! ;)

and yeah, i'm a non-smoker, but when i get really really worked up enough to seriously rant, there is a part of me that needs a cigarette for the in-between moments... :D

At 10:00 PM, Blogger John Q. Public said...

Damn, T!

That was very, very rantish. Feels good to just vomit it all up, doesn't it?

Perhaps a call to Dr. Feelgood is in order tomorrow?

At 10:39 AM, Blogger Ed said...


At 10:39 AM, Blogger Ed said...

Nice to read a good rant once in a while.

At 6:10 PM, Blogger JuleZ said...

I love you. how you can get people to be convicted by your words rather than simply amused is another story. it's sick how society has become so twisted: hatefull and non tolerant while preaching acceptance. GOoOooO fighting for democracy!! let's colonize and call it liberty. is it a rant, or a spade?? I'm with you on this one. Thanks for sharing.

At 9:07 AM, Anonymous Lt. Gen Funabashi said...

As much of an idiot as you may think I am, I agree with you.

The sad part about porn is that the consumers (largely men) are so deceived by the porn industry that it controls their minds. If porn were a liquid or a powder or a plant, it would be called a drug, and be illegal, as I believe it has an even more insidious effect on a man's thought patterns than drugs themself.

The only thing you left out is violence. In the U.S., boys and men are so pumped full of violence that it is a form of porn, and it is harder to get away from, since football is OK, but shooting someone in the face with a 9mm is only something that Arnie or Sly can do.

Pyschologists say that images are burned into human memory, like a ROM chip, and I believe that the wrong images are being burned into the minds of Men.


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