Monday, February 07, 2005

The Silliest Love Poem I Ever Read

I am hiking in the boots of my desire across the landscape of your love. The path of our relationship is often steep and strewn with the rocks of difficulty. But along the foothills of our future bloom flowers of promise, where the chipmunks of hope scamper amidst the underbrush of understanding. High above the mountain of destiny soars the hawk of happiness, searching with eyes of courage for the food of truth. So onward I hike in the boots of my desire across the landscape of your love … until I come at last to the river of inane writing and drink deep the waters of bad metaphors.


At 3:37 PM, Blogger Rednaked said...

Chipmunks of hope? Is that like beavers of desire?

At 3:59 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

I have become mired in the swamp of your doggerel and must clamber onto the raft of good sense to get the fuck out.

At 9:10 PM, Blogger Kay said...

Geez, Theresa, you stole the bad metaphor prize from me and my whole car-theme thing I had going this week. I'm not sure whether I should pout or thank you.

At 10:03 PM, Blogger theresa said...

It's from an old Valentine's Day card. The company that made the card didn't even have the nerve to credit a source. The poem was just too horrible to keep to myself! I know everyone has come to expect a certain level of generosity from me.

At 2:48 AM, Blogger John Q. Public said...

Yeah, but what I want to know is this: Where's the alliteration?

At 10:55 AM, Blogger theresa said...

I picked this one just for you, Joe. What, with all the Backpacker magazine and all. It seemed right up your alley. Can't you tell from everything I do and say that I truly believe "I am hiking in the boots of my desire across the landscape of your love."?
(Damn, I crack myself up!)
No, really it's true, Darling!
Would I fuck with you?
I am dead serious. Come over here and check out these kick-ass "boots of desire" already!

At 1:53 PM, Blogger Bryna said...

When I get married I am SO using that for my wedding vows! Thank you for finding them. LOL!!! :)

At 2:46 PM, Blogger Thomas said...

"Her vulva was as wet, warm and slick as a spoiled cabbage on a radiator. My fingers traversed the tunnel of passion with the urgency of a trailer truck full of urgency."

Don't let bad writing happen to YOU!


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