Pretty Soon I'm Going to Feel GREAT! Right???
Today's Schedule7:00am - Monkey-Man wakes me up for no reason at all. No, let me think … Ah (sweet), he says he loves me.
7:20 - Haul my sorry ass out of bed and collect slippers & bathrobe.
Shuffle into kitchen to complain about the measly share of coffee left for me.
Cuddle with cute fuzzy dogs while drinking ½ cup of coffee.
Wonder about breakfast.
7:30 - Look for cigarettes. FUCK ! ! ! Don’t panic. We stopped smoking yesterday. Breathe.
Eat a sensible breakfast (something tasting of bark, but shaped like a flake, floating in soy juice).
7:50 - Wave goodbye to the boys and make more coffee.
Wonder if there’s a cigarette anywhere in the house.
Eat a Nicotine Lozenge.
Turn on the computer. Reach for my cigarettes. FUCK ! ! ! Don’t panic. Breathe.
8:10 - Pace the house.
Wonder if there are any cigarettes in my car.
Turn on a DVD a friend loaned me. More coffee and eat meds.
8:30 - Pause DVD.
Pace the house.
Do a load of laundry.
Hmmm, I used to keep a stash of cigarettes in the laundry room for secret smoking when my Mom came to visit.
WHAT THE FUCK? What the hell do non-smokers do with their hands and mouths when they are not smoking? I know there will be some sexy ideas, but remember, I’m all by myself and my flexibility has it’s limits.
8:45 - Check e-mail and blog for a bit again.
Eat another lozenge.
Is it too early for lunch?
9:10 - Reach for a cigarette. FUCK ! ! ! Don’t panic. Breathe.
Pace.
Scream (lots of profanity. Profanity even I, who cus like a sailor, would be embarrassed to type out on the written page - Thank for the tip Average Joe).
Calm the dogs down after my screaming fit.
Sing with Starbuck (the Coonhound / Lab).
9:20 - Long hot shower (with Aquassager)
9:45 - Hey, that DVD is still paused. Start DVD & fold laundry.
Pop another lozenge.
Get dressed.
10:15 - Get things together to leave for the day.
Where are my cigarettes? FUCK ! ! ! Don’t panic. Breathe.
10:30 (NOW) - Yellow Pages: I’m looking up the number for the best hair stylist in town. If I make it through the next 10 days, I’m getting my hair done. I’m making the appointment now. If I smoke between now and then, I’ll cancel the appointment. But, I’m not going to smoke. Some things are more important than smoking, like really good hair … and shoes.
Hey, if I make it a month, maybe Chick will help me pick out a new pair of Mary Janes.
posted by Theresa @ 1/25/2005 10:27:00 AM
5 Comments:
Good for you Theresa! I already think you're a sexy and strong woman. But if you quit smoking, IMHO, that makes you even sexier and stronger.
I never even picked up a cigarette but I have friends who have a lot of trouble quitting, going back to it when it seems they have it beat. So I know it ain't easy. Good luck.
Oh...now you have to quit for at least a month! We'd have so much fun shopping for killer Mary Janes.
I know you can do it.
If you stop smoking...I'll stop eating chocolate, deal?
Theresa, I was "shoe-shopping" online and thought of you the instant I saw these:
http://www.electriqueboutique.com/shop/proddetail.asp?id=E0919-BP
Theresa,
Tobacco is the hardest to quit -- even harder than hard drugs (I know). You are doing a tough thing. It will get easier. I spent a couple of months compiling a list in my mind of reasons to quit, and it got pretty long. All of the reasons were the obvious ones -- I'm sure you know them -- but they carry more weight when you take them all together.
One thing I did that helped me: I chewed toothpicks. Specifically Thursday Plantation Australian Chewing Sticks. They are infused with Tee Tree Oil, a very strong (and grown-up) flavor. I found them in a health food store. I stuck one in my mouth instead of a cigarette whenever I had the urge. So not only did I look like Clint Eastwood, with my pick dangling from the corner of my mouth, but I always had something to do to satisfy my oral fixation.
I'll just leave that pin standing. You can knock it down if you want.
Kayten: Those shoes are great! I'm already 5'9" with-out shoes. I'll be about 6 foot tall in those babies. Ha! I love high-heels! With shoes like that, just think of the power I will have over those pathetic little nicotine urges.
Glorious Nonsense - I'm pretty cool with the coffee tasting better. I'm a little worried about everything else tasting better.
Chick - We will have to do some serious on-line shopping. We can share our best discoveries and then pick together. - Are you sure you want to give up chocolate? What will your brain live on inbetween sexual experiences?
Goldfish Shoals - When I get big, I want to be just like you!
Larry - Thank You!!!!
What a great idea. We have a fabulous Co-op grocery store in town. If they don't have the toothpicks, they'll get me what I want.
I was a Substance Abuse counselor for 2 years. I understand a lot about addiction. Whatever it is that makes you decide the consequences of using aren't worth the effect of the drug is different for everyone. I agree, there are a lot of reasons not to smoke. The only reason to do it is because I like the way it makes me feel. For now, I'll just feel cranky and surly, and I'll try a few other things to deal with my oral fixation.
Thanks to all of you. I really can't tell you how much reading your messages helps me. I've actually distracted myself with thoughts of shoe shopping when I wanted to smoke. And, I wasn't nearly as cranky as I let on because you make me laugh.
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