Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Out of the Blue

Have you ever had one of those days when everything has gone to shit?

Have you ever had the opposite happen?

Hell yeah! That was my day yesterday!!!

Besides recently enjoying some wonderful erotic experiences with my fantasy lover, Spike, where I demonstrated in Technicolor Animation and SurroundSound audio quality the beauty that Average Joe described in his Post, Donuts and Orgasms, I have also had some other great shit happen:

OUT OF THE BLUE, my boss visits me yesterday, to tell me I’m getting a $3,000 a year raise. Apparently the upper management folks were looking at things and noticed that my salary was out of line with others who were equally valuable to the company … or some other horseshit. Ha! (Ms. Chick, would you be so kind and calculate approximately how many pairs of fine footwear a Hot Chik can purchase for three grand?)

OUT OF THE BLUE, Monkey-Man calls me from work to tell me that he won $100.00 for being THE SHIT at something or other at his job. Ever since he was diagnosed with Diabetes in December, he’s been taking good care of his diet, so he’s lost a shitload of weight. He needs new clothes. Hooray for Monkey!

OUT OF THE BLUE, he says, "That’s the little piece of good news. There’s more! I also won a trip for two to Las Vegas. With spending money and dinner out with the Showtime people and maybe even tickets to see Penn and Teller." And, when I asked him who he was taking with him, he said, your's truly. Tee, Hee! FUCK ME SILLY!!!

You see, things like this don’t happen to people like us. What happens to people like us is, our furnace breaks on the coldest fucking day of the year. The car needs $800 in repairs two days before I have to drive 500 miles to my baby sister’s wedding. Our beloved cat gets hit by a car, and our house gets burglarized on Christmas Eve.

So this morning when the scale said I’d lost another couple pounds, I just had to pinch myself to see if I was dreaming. This isn’t the life I'm accoustomed to living.

Oh, one more thing, my Hot girlfriend, Cricket, and I are going to have a fantasy coffee date and hatch a really cool diabolical plan. Hot Chiks and diabolical plans ROCK because they are always about increasing the Hotness.


9 Comments:

At 10:59 AM, Blogger cricket said...

woot woot!!! go you!! :) we're gonna need something more than coffee to celebrate a kick-ass day like that... :)

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Well...I try to keep my shoe addiction below $60 a pair, so, if my figures are correct, that comes to 50 pairs of shoes for one hot chik...not too shabby.

I'm so happy to hear about all your cool news. You definitely need some new shoes for Vegas...baby.

...um...did I hear of a cool diabolical plan?! You have to let me know how THAT goes!

 
At 4:46 PM, Blogger Judi said...

Rock on and I hope you have many more days like that!!

 
At 8:14 PM, Blogger Heather said...

So nice to see one of us with some good luck for a change!!! Have fun with Cricket she is the best at hatching plans.

 
At 10:01 PM, Blogger Kay said...

I was just needing your wisdom over at my blog and I'm glad to see it's happy stuff that has been keeping you busy! But I do like diabolical plans too ... and I have a Valentine's present for my favorite HotChik if there's a way I can send you a little sumpin' through amazon.com ... (assuming of course you don't already have it ... )

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

YAY!! for days like that...

 
At 1:01 PM, Blogger love_sex said...

That's a hell of a nice day. It will be hard to surpass that.

 
At 5:17 PM, Blogger Ed said...

You deserve it, though, Theresa.

I'm jealous about the fantasy coffee date, though...

 
At 11:01 AM, Blogger cmf773 said...

NO AMERICAN OR CANADIAN MAN SHOULD EVER MARRY! Equal human rights for all North American Men! Blog more about it here:

http://www.livejournal.com/community/askcmf/

 

Post a Comment

<< Home