Saturday, January 22, 2005

The Wisdom of Man-Belly Love

One of the things I’ve come to believe over the years is that you can’t love or hate something about someone else unless it reflects something you love or hate about yourself. In other words, when someone is really bugging the crap out of you, take a long hard look in the mirror. You might find the solution staring back at you.

One of the things that bugs the hell out of me is when people get caught up in petty bullshit like, "Mary Blueberry got a better bling-blang than I did. No fair!" I know it’s hard to believe, coming from a wise, mature Goddess such as myself, but every once in a while, I feel like a spoiled 4-year old that wants what everyone else has. I don’t like to admit it, but it’s true. So, when I see the same quality in others, it pisses me off even more.

The opposite pattern is true too. I love when people are open, friendly and generous. It’s a quality I really cherish within myself. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone feels the same way. When we first moved to the midwest, my city-raised Monkey Man felt out of place amidst all the friendly town-folk. I think his exact words were, "They’re all weird. They come right up to you and say ‘Hi’." It’s a good thing we didn’t move to a really small town. In rural Iowa, every time you even drive past another moving vehicle, you’re obligated to wave.

I’ve heard that a beautiful thing happens when you come to completely accept yourself and your flaws. It’s not easy. As a step in that direction, I’ve found easy success accepting differences in others. For example, the part of my body I hate the most is my tummy. Remember what part of a man’s body I LOVE the most? Yes indeed, give me all the man-bellies! Big and small, hard and soft, hairy and smooth, I happily love them all!

I’ve also found that it’s easy to love other women. When I come across a woman who doesn't love women, I can’t help but wonder if she's able to love herself. Is it that she really doesn't love herself, or that she's bought into the bitter horseshit society teaches us about women being catty, bitchy, conniving, two-faced, gossipy and disloyal? Perhaps they are related?

My personal Conspiracy Theory is that the stereotype that all women are Catty, etc. is perpetuated by the current and historical, global-wide male dominated power structure. It serves to prevent women from organizing in Sisterhood to take over the world. Not that we necessarily would, but who really knows what would happen if we stopped all the hissing, scratching, and hair-pulling?

(You know, I might not be so paranoid if someone was licking me right now.)


At 3:34 AM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

I've assumed for all these years that women were, in fact, in charge of everything, and we (men) just weren't aware of it. Most of our foolish agression and competition is to impress women. I guess it hasn't been working...

At 10:44 AM, Blogger Chick said...

How wise you are. I try...but sometimes fail, to stop some of the bitchiness in my head from coming out (we all have's what you do...or don't do with it...that counts). You're right when you say that the things you hate in others is an insight into yourself. You really got me thinking with that one.

...I hate my arms...but looove great arms on someone else (...I'm still thinking).

At 11:30 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Larry, I liked you straight away.
Now, help me think of a way a man could impress me ... hmmm, gee what do I what more than anything? It has nothing to do with agression. I don't think it has anything to do with competition. Man, it's on the tip of my tongue...

Chick, When I got appointed to be a Diety, the position came with a big bag of wisdom. I thought it was a lot at the time, but boom! It was gone. Now I end up borrowing and stealing from others all the time.

I agree - arms are great!

At 6:37 PM, Blogger modgurl said...

Wise words from a wise goddess. *applause*

At 10:24 AM, Blogger Lu said...

I think the Conspiracy Theory is also perpetuated by the false belief that we women don't have the power or the right to STOP the scratching and hair-pulling. We are so used to doing what is expected of us that we're almost compelled to consider ourselves the "lesser" of the two sexes. It's deeply ingrained in us to look to men for cues about how to act, even though we don't need to (and shouldn't!). Although we are aware intellectually that this is bullshit, the behavior is subliminally perpetuated from generation to generation. We've just gotta keep plugging away by acting differently as much as we can, talking differently every time we catch ourselves, and having a great deal of well-deserved faith in our daughters and granddaughters to continue making things different in this world.



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