Tell Me I'm Beautiful
I’ve illustrated this poem with two distinct paintings. Each seems to evoke a different meaning from the words. In a way, both are true experiences for me.
See through
To the Me within my unsure flesh.
Hear the grace in my voice
When I speak of earnest longing.
Taste the fragile flavor
Of joy and pain in my tears.
Breathe in my scent,
Rare fragrance of vulnerable passion.
Lose yourself in my eyes,
An accidental invitation to my heart.
Tell me I’m beautiful.
When it becomes your truth,
Tell me I’m beautiful.
You can find the first painting here and the second painting here.
posted by Theresa @ 11/06/2005 08:24:00 PM
19 Comments:
WOW. Because I'm forever communicating in 3 year old humor, this entry earns you the title of prettiest pretty, ala "My Name is Earl".
And in case that delivers the improper message - what I mean to say is "You Rock."
Theresa - You're Beautiful - we all think so - It's not all about what you can see, it's truely measured in what can't be seen.
"We've made mad love, shadow love
Random love and abandoned love
Accidentally like a martyr
The hurt gets worse and the heart gets harder"
The genius of Warren Zevon - Accidentally Like a Martyr
Q o P - Back atcha, Beautiful! Of course I don't mind, very flattered in fact.
Mrs. Zoooom - I do happen to know what that means, so WOW, Thanks.
Al - Such is the brilliance of blogland; there's little danger of being loved for what we represent physically to one another. And, we can bravely reach out from our lonely isolation with the hope that our true selves will be accepted.
I love the reference you shared. I wanna hug ya, Al. I do!
Laurie - Thanks, Gorgeous!
You speak to me, by me and for me.
You speak to my heart and enrich my soul.
Your beauty comes shining through with every word, every picture, every thought.
You constinually amaze and inspire me.
I am truly in love with you ...
Lovely & true...I mean you...that is...
this is, and you are, awesome...
peace...
Theresa,
You have a beautiful touch to life. I have a great appreciation for the way you think.
One of your biggest fans,
nosthegametoo
Oh, you silly! I see beautiful pictures of you Everywhere. Some days I'm worshipping you instead of the Messiah. Other days I'm whacking off like a drooling idiot. I've tried not to be an idiot about it all the time, but I seldom achieve the other.
It's interesting that your imagery evokes the visual and the tactile, but it seems like it's really about something so much more. You're not looking to be told you're beautiful (a very subjective qualification besides) but you're actually craving for acceptance of your self-perceived weakness and vulnerability. You want someone to see past how you look and love you despite your frailty and blemishes. Well, not so much DESPITE your frailty, but rather BECAUSE of it.
But you also see danger in that because in order for someone to accept your weakness, you have to show them your weakness. There would have to be a legitimate fear of rejection when you lay yourself open like that.
Being naked emotionally is much worse than being naked physically.
Your poem is very effective because you've bared yourself so openly.
Wow....thank you for this post today!
Blaze - Sweetheart, I am incredibly honored by your beautiful, touching words. Sometimes it seems as if we share the same heart.
Chick - XOXO
Monkey - Thanks, Sweetie.
Nosthegametoo - A compliment like this from you makes me blush. I'm always impressed with how articulate you are in expressing the meaning in our lives. I miss reading you regularly. For some reason my computer freezes up when I go to your site.
Ron - Your adoration is generous.
AC - To make someone feel heard and understood is a valuable gift. Thank you.
- My desire for unconditional love is not so uncommon. Perhaps I only slightly set myself apart in my willingness to bare myself despite the risk and uncertainty.
- My most terrifying nightmare: I'm spread naked on a cold slab, unable to move. Danny Devito is dressed as the Penguin (like the grotesque costuming in the Batman movie). He's torturing me by burning the skin on my belly with hot toast.
Aisha - Thanks for visiting again. I'm enjoying your blog too.
Not that I want to make a habit of this but here it goes -
The burning belly could symbolize intense repressed emotions or passionate sexual feelings. These feelings definitely seemed to be unexpressed. The burning could also signify that the release of these emotions can no longer be avoided. They have to come out.
Paralysis is a common theme of helplessness or being tied down by something in your life. You feel incapable of dealing with a situation.
It's possible that Danny Devito, as a quasi-celebrity, could represent your high aspirations that seem to be out of reach, but it could also be representative of a man in your life - either someone named Dan, Daniel, Danny or maybe a short guy - someone that is bringing out these passionate, intense feelings. Penguins can either suggest that your problems are not as serious as you think OR more likely that you feel weighed down by a negative situation.
Without knowing exactly what else is going on in your life, it's hard to get a real good feel of what this dream means, but there's definitely some repression and feelings of helplessness.
AC - I don't make a habit of sharing my dreams. That particular one seemed to go along with your previous comment. Your analysis is right on target (based on my life at the time). I don't know what the Danny Devito thing is either. In the dream, it was more about the creepy costume, not the actor ... but then, I do like the short guys ... and the tall guys ... and the in between guys ...
Ah, Love Goddess. Your words are achingly exquisite. I bow before you in Honor of your courage and poetry. You have exhibited one of my favorite (and rarely seen) traits--the ability to evocatively share one's vulnerabilities while retaining one's Power.
Sorry So Shallow. I can't get past picturing you dancing in the first painting. Grr.
Theresa,
U r a tallent. The way you think almost make me feel we r blood related or something like that.
I wished I had u with me today. U r truely beatiful.
I was paging through your blog and I couldn't help but notice how overtly sexual it was. It struck me because there seems to be a real dichotomy between your outward quest for sexual gratification and your much subtler longing for a much more carnal intimacy. It makes me wonder whether or not you use your in-your-face sexuality as a defense mechanism to shield people from discovering the much less confident hidden you.
Jayne - Such reverence from the great IrReverend herself is high praise, indeed! Thanks.
Andy - Don't worry about it. You'll never be more than a sexy man-tummy to me anyway ;-)
No_the_game - Aren't all Hot Chiks related?
Thanks, Sweetie.
AC - Interesting observation. I worry that I dwell too much on my longing for carnal intimacy. It seems too much like pathetic self-pity. I don't like that part of myself.
You're absolutely right about my tendency to hide behind a facade of confidence. My inner self is tortured by self-doubts and feelings of inadequacy. It's not just in-you-face sexuality. I've got a closet full of confidence-costumes.
So what does a girl do about it? I'm trying this writing thing. Every so often I take risks here in blogland. I let bits of myself be seen and vulnerable ... and then hold my breath.
"Taste the fragile flavor"
I'm not going to shake this line for awhile.
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