Sunday, October 30, 2005

Hot Chik Motivations

The concept of Hot Chiks was born from my subtly disturbing experiences working as a peon at a large corporation. Prior to this job, I’d been a Social Worker for 15 years. Although I wasn’t completely naïve or unaware of workplace politicking, I never had the opportunity to observe and think about the interactions of my co-workers the way I do at my current job.

I was concerned about the strange/normal/ordinary (you choose) competitiveness amongst women in my workplace. They criticized one another for things they never would think to criticize a man for doing. These criticisms and comparisons weren't made directly. They happened in hushed voices. They were slipped in to conversations with receptive others. They were said with righteous justifications and concerns.


One woman was criticized for being too proud of the way she looked; another for not seeming to care at all. How a woman managed her home and work life was often in question, especially if she had children. Are men put under the same microscope and measured by the same criteria? I don't think so. Likewise, women would forgive a man’s indiscretions because he was a good worker, but if a woman was guilty of the same behavior, she was a no-good-SLUT! When men observed this criticizing, they sometimes participated. They rarely started it, at least not while I was around. I never heard a single person interrupt or defend a victim.

This phenomenon has no good guys and no bad guys. Every woman seems to be participating, either actively or passively, and every woman is a potential victim. The problem is that it keeps women separated from one another. We can’t create real solid alliances with one another in our professional lives.

That’s how a dialog first began. Ruth, Carrie and I started talking about what it would be like if we acted differently with one another and with other women at work. After that, Lu and I wrote the Hot Chik’s Code. A while later, we started the blog . . . a year ago today.


HOT CHIK'S CODE

For some girls and women being a Hot Chik comes naturally. For others, it's a process of unlearning a lot of crap that society has taught her about herself and other women. If you wish to claim your place in the world as a Hot Chik, please refer to the Code below.

  1. Hot Chiks are Proud, Strong and Brave.
  2. Hot Chiks cooperate with their sisters and never compete unfairly. A Hot Chik would never think of competing for the attention of a man.
  3. Hot Chiks are proud of their sisters’ accomplishments.
  4. Hot Chiks watch each other’s backs.
  5. Hot Chiks realize that doing the right thing sometimes means you have to break the rules.
  6. Hot Chiks are gorgeous regardless of the current trends or narrowly defined standards of beauty.
  7. Hot Chiks realize it’s a privilege to be a woman and are compassionate toward men, the unfortunate and weaker sex.
  8. Hot Chiks love men who love and respect women. (optional)
  9. Hot Chiks are proud and comfortable with their sexuality. We don’t succumb to society’s double standard that good girls don’t, and we aren’t necessarily good girls.

My Pledge: "I, _________________________________________, do solemnly swear to follow the Hot Chiks’ Code to the best of my ability from this day forward. I will spread the Hot Chiks’ Code to those who are receptive, and I will protect the Code from those who would use it to exploit and/or damage any or all Hot Chiks."

_______ ______________________________________________

Date / Signature

8/19/04, Theresa K., Lu M., (Hot Chik's Code Co-Authors)

~

Recommended Reading: Catfight by Leora Tanenbaum

12 Comments:

At 2:02 PM, Blogger littlefeet said...

I do solemnly swear...

:)

peace...

 
At 5:13 PM, Blogger JayneSays said...

Sign me up! : ) I am relatively new to blogging but bookmarked your site early on. Thanks for contributing an alternative, powerful (and fun!) voice out there for women. Your post reminded me of a book I read a few years back, Odd Girl Out, about "hidden" female aggression (bullying, gossiping, etc.) that starts in school and sometimes sadly persists. I LOVE women who defy this phenomenon and I proudly support you, sisters!

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger bedroomdancer said...

Wow. That's great stuff. Sign me up!!!

 
At 5:14 PM, Blogger crazysilver said...

Your 'code' is great.

I'm a woman in a man's career, which I have mentioned a few times in my own blog...it can be tough...

There are 2 other women in my firm that aren't secretaries. I would say one is a Hot Chik by right, and the other is more like the women you mentioned.

I also believe that Hot Chiks keep their mouths shut in the office regarding their personal life. That may be a large reason why we don't judge men...they don't "talk" as much as women do...women tend to open themselves up to more criticism by sharing every gory detail of their lives.

Be proud of who you are, and never settle.

 
At 5:52 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Monkey - Woman, when were you not a Hot Chik?

Jaynesays - It's kinda fun to see the reactions people have when you refuse to play by the same old rules; when you treat other women like people; when you support & encourage them; when you prove to them that you're someone they can trust. I have to remind myself to be patient with those who don't or can't reciprocate. Change is hard.

Bedroomdancer - Welcome!!!

Crazysilver - Great comments. You clearly have a unique perspective.
I like to think that all women are Hot Chiks, or in the process of becoming Hot Chiks. That way we can stay out of the "either you're with us or you're against us" mentality.

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Ed said...

Congratulations on the Blogversary.

Brilliant idea to re-post the code from exactly a year ago.

 
At 9:17 PM, Blogger littlefeet said...

lol...good question...i have followed this code for as long as i can remember... :)

peace...

 
At 11:56 PM, Blogger shhhh said...

Great blog you have there. I found you through Monkey and fully intend to read you daily.

Good stuff.

 
At 6:47 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

My HoTT Sista Chik T!

You won me over eons ago!
Happy Blogiversary sweetie!
*SMOOCHES*

 
At 12:25 PM, Blogger Julie said...

You are one of my favorite people!!! I am quite certain that I am a hot chick. When I was younger (in college) I often had more male friends than female - because I was a huge flirt and because I went to school for acting, other women were viewed as competition. After college, I became part of a women's group that changed my life! I also met some women who became mentors rather than competition. I adore my female friends, they are my family.

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

Have you ever read Sark's Succulent Wild Women. I think you'd be surprised at the similarities between the Hot Chik's Code and her "affirmations."

 
At 11:17 PM, Blogger Clark K. said...

"women would forgive a man’s indiscretions because he was a good worker," I beg to differ with this statement. I lost my job because of my indiscretions. Now to be honest, if there were not a woman in a key position at my company, I would have kept my job. The men in my organization would have let it go, but not without warning. The indiscretions that I committed had absolutely no relationship to my work performance, but still I was reprimanded. Although I've never seen it personally, I don't doubt that some women endure extreme hardships strictly because of their gender, but my personal opinion is that if you act like a victim, you're going to be treated like one.

 

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