Sunday, September 25, 2005

Smile and Wave Goodbye

One of the toughest things about life is learning to accept when you can’t be with one you Love. Sometimes the stars don’t align. Or perhaps the one you Love doesn’t Love you. Maybe irreconcilable differences create insurmountable rifts. Or miles, jobs, responsibilities and obligations keep you apart. No matter what the cause, it’s hard to let go. It takes a certain kind of dedication and resolve to keep the Love in your heart alive while accepting the reality of loss.

Dealing with the pain of heartache is so difficult that some people would rather choose isolation, anger and bitterness. It’s understandable, especially in the short-term. These can be effective emotional weapons for self-preservation. In fact, I’ve tried these props myself. They turned out to be particularly ill-suited for me. They weigh me down. I’d much rather carry an over-flowing satchel of Lost Loves than a chip on my shoulder.

and so it comes again . . .

He pressed his forehead against mine and looked into my eyes. His arms wrapped around me as sweet words of farewell were whispered between kisses. The word Love hovered above the others, but we dared not speak it. Not this day. Not now. This was goodbye for what might have been. I had a brief impulse to ask him to stay, but I knew better. Instead, I ran to his car and kissed him one last time.

Sometimes you Love someone enough to say it’s okay to leave.
You smile bravely and wave goodbye.
You wait until he’s gone before you start to cry.

21 Comments:

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Kay said...

That was beautiful, Theresa, and just what I needed to read this Monday morning.

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

Wow. That is again, so well written and descriptive of things we have probably all had to deal with but couldn't describe.

Just reading that brings back a pang or two from a similar situation of my own.

I do, however, have the blessing of having found the most amazing guy after that - but isn't it amazing how it still sticks to your heart?

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

Ooh, that makes my heart break in a most delightful way, and that picture..

 
At 1:49 PM, Blogger Al said...

Hey babydoll -
Hate to feel you may not be smiling
so hear it goes
drumroll please
Bonnie Tyler's "It's a heartache"

"It’s a heartache, nothing but a heartache
Hits you when it’s too late, hits you when you’re down
It’s a fools’ game, nothing but a fool’s game
Standing in the cold rain, feeling like a clown"

Hope makes ya grin
Hug & a Kiss
be good kiddo
Al

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger No_the_game said...

UUUWEEEE,

Were you reading my mind when you wrote it?

 
At 2:46 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

This made me cry! I know what it is like to leave someone you love dearly behind and move on with each of your lives, because of distance! I have learned since this time not to hesistate to tell that person, that you love them and that you hold them in that special place in your heart, mind and soul forever and the day,weeks and years. I wish, when I had to go that I could of let him see me cry!

 
At 4:06 PM, Blogger Chick said...

I hate letting love go...just hate it.

I'm selfish like that.

 
At 8:39 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Kayten - Glad to see you. We need to chat sometime, dear friend.

Zoooom - Thank you. Both you and your sweetie are amazing. I hope you live happily ever after.

Kyle - What a great response!
The picture took me half the afternoon to find, but once I saw it, I knew it was exactly right.

Al - Leave it to you to find the perfect soundtrack for a cheer-up. Twice, I caught myself singing that cheesy song at work this afternoon. I couldn't help but giggle.

No_the_Game - To be perfectly honest, I did think of you while I was writing this.

Anon - Regrets are difficult to live with. I hope you've found new hope and Love.

Chick - I hate it too. Believe me, I've had my share of temper tantrums over the years.

 
At 10:28 PM, Blogger No_the_game said...

Theresa,

I could see me in your writing. I swear I could. I had to let twice my love go. Even though ppl say they did not love me. I am sure there was something that they could not tell me. They both choose to leave me behind w/out explanation. That is what I can not agree with.

I thought about ur post all day long. I am trying to make iron out off myself.

 
At 10:58 PM, Blogger Yoga Korunta said...

I long for a woman I haven't met. She stopped blogging.

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Monty said...

Each age is a dream that is dying, or one that is being born. Here's hoping for you!

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Jodes said...

wonderful post!!!

 
At 11:05 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Thought you might enjoy this:

Ev'ry time we say goodbye I die a little
Ev'ry time we say goodbye I wonder why a little
Why the gods above me who must be in the know
think so little of me they allow you to go.

When you're near there's such an air of spring about it
I can hear a lark somewhere begin to sing about it
there's no love finer, but how strange the change from
major to minor...

Ev'ry time we say goodbye.

~ Annie Lennox

 
At 2:32 PM, Blogger auburnpisces said...

Thank you for letting us be there with you, by sharing this story.

 
At 10:28 PM, Anonymous truenorth said...

How do you decide to let go...are the job, time constraints, the distance really so overwhelming? If it hurts so deeply to let go, maybe...just maybe we should shift our attention from those things and focus on what could be gained. How many times have we let what might have been "the one" slip away because we let all the other factors in our lives obscure our focus. Unfortunately I have no answers and have felt the same pains myself...there is comfort in knowing that others have faced the same situation. Thank you for sharing your life encounters.

 
At 11:38 PM, Blogger Clark K. said...

What if the chip on your shoulder is caused by not having any lost loves either? Some people aren't afraid to love and lose, they are just afraid to lose.

 
At 12:21 AM, Blogger nosthegametoo said...

I try to let go of the "why." I think we have a tendency to make excuses for our lost loves. We always want to believe that "they really DID love me, they were just confused," or something like that.

I have done my best to not look back on ANY of the excuses I made for relationships that did not, or could not last.

In the end, I'm not sure it really matters as to WHY we've our loved ones could not be with us. But sometimes those memories do bring comfort.

 
At 11:21 AM, Blogger Julie said...

I admire you...your writing and your spirit!

 
At 12:17 PM, Blogger theresa said...

No_the_Game - Healing takes time. Sometimes it's hard to make sense of what other people do. Just remember that you are loveable!

Yoga - I'm sorry yours ended before it began.

Monty - Thanks you for your wishes.

Jodes - Thanks.

Blaze - You and Al are tied for 1st in the cheese-fest competition!

Auburn - I asked permission from him before I posted this.

True - Great questions. Each story has its own struggle.

Clark - One of these days a power greater than yourself is gonna come along and knock you on your sweet ass. That chip is gonna go flyin'. Love is very powerful. It's in your future. You're too sweet for it to pass you by.

Nosthegametoo - As with all grief, we seek to understand and make sense of our pain.

Julie - Mutual admiration is a trait amongst Hot Chiks. Back atcha Sista!

 
At 12:30 PM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

um, would that be FORMUNDA CHEESE????!!!


BUWHAHAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!! ;)

 
At 7:16 PM, Blogger Yoga Korunta said...

The aforementioned woman returned to blogging today. Nothing else has been written since May. Elation? She wrote of her new love.

 

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