My Favorite Paradox
Over the years an interesting thing has happened. All of my watching and listening has afforded me a unique perspective on people. For the most part, I’ve come to really like them and find most of them to be goodhearted and well-intentioned at their core. Even the ones who act like a complete horse’s ass usually have something good buried underneath.
Overall, people are really fascinating. When I pay attention and listen, I hear some captivating stories. People love to talk about themselves. If I respond with a nod, an empathetic grunt and an inquisitive eyebrow raise, they’ll tell me almost anything. I’m not on a hunt for buried secrets or hushed confidences. That’s not the point. It’s learning about the uniqueness of each of us that makes the sharing so rich and fulfilling.
The very best lesson I’ve learned through all of my watching and listening is about what makes us the same. No matter who we are, or where we come from, the one thing we share is our emotions. There’s not a single feeling that we’ve had that countless others haven’t experienced before. They may not share the same exact circumstances, but the feeling is the same nonetheless.
If you’ve ever seen the Grand Canyon, you understand the feeling of awe and wonder. Those who’ve lost a Love understand the bitter pain of heartbreak. Anyone who’s waited up half the night for a wayward teenager who’s three hours late for curfew, knows what it’s like to worry … and then when that rotten kid does walk through the door, you’re so happy to see the little shit you could slap him/her (or is that just me?).
I Love the ways we are different and unique. I even Love the ways I’m different and unique. At the same time, there’s a great comfort in knowing we are all connected together by a very powerful common emotional understanding. We can never really be alone because of it.
You are unique and special just like everybody else.
posted by Theresa @ 9/07/2005 02:33:00 AM
11 Comments:
I think you're totally right on. It's amazing how much we can absorb from a simple conversation with another person. However, I feel that there is a de-emphasis on listening and observing in this country. It seems that the better you speak, the smarter and more experienced you are, even if garbage is coming out of your mouth. How are we supposed to learn from others if our mouths are always moving? But yes, I like your point about us all being connected. The interesting thing is though we all share basically the same emotions, it's different and unique to each person. I don't think any two people view love in the same way. At this point I personally attach dependency and inevitable heartbreak to it.. but that's another story. That's all I wanted to say... I do like this journal entry.. that's why I had to comment on it.
I agree, people are fascinating. No need to read fiction, non-fiction is more than enough
Hello, Good Heart! Of course, some of us become CIA agents and murder people without prejudice, but that's one of those government secrets. You're probably more on the right track, though.
Yup. Amazing as always.
I don't know if I have ADD, but I've always said "my mom forgot to teach me that stuff."
I'm told I look like a total bitch until one gets to know me. Thing is, I'm just protecting myself - and I'm horribly near sighted without the specs. I'm horribly shy, but once I'm comfy, all the sillyness flies. Sometimes people still back away. And that's ok.
People watching - that's good stuff. But you, you have mastered living in the colonies and reporting from the front lines. I like that. I tend to keep my distance.
Sen - Thank you for your comment. I think you're right about the de-emphasis on listening and observing. I've noticed that when people are engaged in conversations instead of listening to the other person, they are thinking about what they are going to say next, and eagerly waiting for their next opportunity to speak. Perhaps it's a reflection of how much each of us needs to be heard and understood. Maybe that's why blogging works so well. We can't interrupt one another during a conversation.
Dating Blog - The best stories are true life stories from the source.
Ron - There are those amongst us who are nasty, but most of us are plain ol ordinary folks doing the best we can.
Zoooom - People who know me well never believe me when I say that I'm shy. It usually cracks them up. If you're interested in learning more about ADD, I've edited the text to add a link. Click on the words Attention Deficit Disorder, and it will take you to another post that has a bunch of information and a lot of other links in the comments section.
I almost feel pollyanaish when I suggest that people actually are good. But, basically, they are.
There is a problem, though. Good people are frequently used by bad systems to suppor bad causes. In that, we all get stained whether we want to be or not. Helping the good people stand up to the bad system is a challenge sometimes because they're convinced the system is misunderstood.
I've always thought I missed that day in class too.
Jay
People don't really seem unique to me. But that may be because I'm like you, I listen and observe, so I tend to understand easier. But it could also be because society encourages conformity.
The part about learning the rules of society sounds very similar to my own situation, only I think I've gone the opposite way. I've learned to not like people in general, and I sure as hell don't want to learn their rules and be like them.
I'd rather be my own person.
I think i need a dose of ADD, and I'd also like to borrow your glasses. You are much more socially adept than I will ever be. One day, I'd like to just sit and listen to you.
Hey, thanks for coming by and writing, the worrying, and the big hug. !!! I'll be around later. Here's something for you
Spitting in a Wishing Well
I didn't get that book either. And, let me tell you, I'm actually kind of pissed about it.
Personally, I think it has to do with being socialized -- by our parents and the examples we learned when it we're in our critical learning stages.
For myself, it's been some comfort to take Personality Tests and Learn that I'm just a unique personality type, and very rare. Which itself, has its perks.
That was an excellent post! Very thought provoking.
Spitting in a Wishing Well
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