Tuesday, September 20, 2005

How to Interview Hot Chik Style

I had a job interview at my current job yesterday. It was with two men that I know only in passing. They both seemed a bit nervous about the whole thing. The first one (we’ll call him, Hank) was a mature and exceptionally handsome man. The second one (we’ll call him, Skipper) was about 14, and he was the one “in charge”, but not really in charge. I think we all know who was in charge.

That’s right! The proper way to conduct a Hot Chik job interview is to make sure that everyone is happy to let you be in charge. You’ll all have a much nicer time that way.

MENTAL PREP:
To properly prepare for an interview, I imagine that I’m the extra special guest on the Ellen Degeneres Show. And, to give myself an extra boost of confidence, Isaac Mizrahi is in the Green Room and he just told me that I’m the best dressed, most sophisticated woman he’s ever set eyes on. It kinda gives a girl an extra little spring in her step … don’tcha think?



THE INTERVIEW:
Hank welcomed me when I arrived. He suggested that we’d never been properly introduced before and invited me to sit down while we waited for Skipper to join us. During those few minutes we happily chatted and enjoyed one another’s company. Hank informed me that Skipper would be asking all the questions since he would be the actual supervisor for the position. Hank was there as Skipper’s supervisor. Poor Skipper!!!

Once Skipper arrived, I quickly discerned that he was indeed very nervous. It’s very important in such a situation for a Hot Chik to try to but the interviewer at ease. I cracked a few jokes and made my voice tone easy so he could relax and enjoy himself. Right away he seemed to lack confidence with where to start, so I asked a couple questions to let him off the hook. That turned out to be a good thing. I learned that I had NONE of the qualifications they were looking for in a candidate. Not only that, they needed someone to be ready to do the job within 2 weeks.

They insisted on finishing the interview anyway. That kind of made me happy. The rest of the time was a relaxed little convo about what I would do for them if they could hire me. I answered every question as a hypothetical … “if I had the training” …

By the time we were done, Hank begged me to reapply when they had a training budget. I could totally tell that he wanted me. That was a nice consolation prize. Since I’m not going to get the job, at least I know I’ve got him thinking.


7 Comments:

At 9:37 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

If you had the training and were going for a second interview, would you then be appearing on Oprah? And would you be wearing your Ms. Perfect Pair dress? Because that might just kill Skipper, along with any of his male relatives.

 
At 9:38 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

damn posting before I'm done! premature poster....I'm seeing a doctor about that.

What I wanted to finish by saying is that I hope you find the job you want. Although I have to admit I'm a little confused, because you said "current job" - so I'm guessing you have projects at your job that you apply for within the company?

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

"I could totally tell that he wanted me. That was a nice consolation prize. Since I’m not going to get the job, at least I know I’ve got him thinking."

Isn't it amazing how similar interviewing for a job is to hooking up in a club/bar?

 
At 1:28 PM, Blogger Rell said...

Kyle,

Great point interviewing and hooking seem the same. Same rules, same friction.

I hope i never have to interview one of yall.

 
At 1:46 PM, Blogger Al said...

I always love the "so, do you have any questions for us" portion of the interview. I always wanna pull the "if a train left Chicago traveling 62 miles and hour.." or something. How many times in our lifes do we get to actually ask the questions. I wanna know stuff like , how did it end up that Bob Marley's "Buffalo Soldiers" and the theme to The Bananna Split's show have the same refrain? (la la la lala la). Where does lint actually come from? Why haven't Sid and Marty Kroft been recognized for the billiant minds they are? Why in slasher movies does the hot chick only bring a flashlight as protection when goes into the spooky basement. Stuff like that. But no I always chicken out and ask about benefits, chain of command, and other grown-up type questions.

 
At 3:06 PM, Blogger littlefeet said...

love the pic of Dolly and Ellen...LOL...

sorry you are not who they need for the job...but at least you were the extra special guest and Isaac says you are the best dressed... :)

peace...

 
At 7:27 AM, Blogger Popeye said...

Hey, congrads for working to get out of your currently soul numbing job. . .

 

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