Thursday, August 18, 2005

The Love Goddess Vs. Calculus

According to New Age granola-eatin’-Birkie-wearing folks, there are some amongst us who are Old Souls. These people have old experienced souls that have been built up and fortified through many past lives. They’re nearing the end of their journey, and they're getting fitted with their caps and gowns for the next stage of the after-life. I’m of the opinion that I am definitely NOT one of these Old Soul people. I’m a Young, Immature, Under-Developed Soul.

Even in my middle age, I haven’t got a clue most of the time. I fumble and fake my way through most situations with the sincere hope that I don’t hurt myself or anyone else in the process. Any wisdom I’ve accumulated has been the result of injuries incurred from falling flat on my face. I don’t even learn a whole lot from witnessing other people screw up. For some reason I’m either oblivious to other’s blunders, or I need to try everything myself. It’s akin to watching someone burn themselves on a hot stove and then touching it myself to make sure it really is hot. It’s not that I’m stupid, I’m simply inexperienced and immature … and, … well, … okay, sometimes I’m stupid.

Being a Young, Immature, Under-developed Soul isn’t entirely horrible (other than the blistered fingers). In some ways my dreamy, juvenile, naïve nature can be somewhat charming, even to myself. I resist bitterness and pessimism. I refuse to give up on the goodness of people. And, I wake up everyday thinking to myself, "Today, I’m going to try harder". No matter how many times I fall, no matter how many times I get shot down, I get up and try again … eventually. Even when I’ve been deeply hurt, there’s a place at my core that I protect and safeguard against injury and theft. It’s mine. It’s who I am. Because it remains intact, I endure.

That core Me seems to be forever innocent, naïve, and hopeful. It makes me seem vulnerable, but I’m not. I’m simply new to this process. Maybe I’m on a different path than most. It’s a twisty, complicated path with lots of stumbling blocks and barriers. A more experienced soul would have called her Travel Agent or Googled MapQuest to make the journey easier.

If there’s any truth to the idea that our souls return to learn new lessons, I’m certain that this time around the lessons I’m meant to learn are about Love. It’s a rough road filled with broken hearts, bad dates, family squabbles, lost friendships and fizzled dreams. However, every so often I stumble around a corner and fall in Love, have the time of my life, or find a friend who helps me build a better dream. It’s an exciting path. And, even when I’m brushing myself off from another header, I’d much rather learn lessons about Love than something tedious like calculus. Besides, how many mathematicians get to be a Love Goddess?

"You learn to speak by speaking, to study by studying, to run by running, to work by working; and just so, you learn to love by loving. All those who think to learn in any other way deceive themselves".
Saint Francis De Sales


At 5:57 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

I must be an old soul ....

But I do my damndest to RESIST!!!

At 10:01 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

So well written! And I'll bet there are many out there, myself included, who will read this and swell with recognition.

There are those who will swell with something else, but those are just the regular pervs. Life needs them too.

At 10:35 AM, Blogger Erin said...

I would love to be a Young Soul, but I think I'm with Blazngfyre on this one. I'm trying to be more resilient on the love front, and allow myself to fall a little harder. But for me it's straight uphill. How beautiful that it comes to you naturally!

At 10:40 AM, Blogger Ilaiy said...

Amazing .. well written ..


At 8:03 PM, Blogger Damn It Anyway said...

Sigh...I wish i was here to learn about love. Think I'm spending this life learning about rejection.

Wait a sec, after we learn all that we're meant to learn do we die and go on to the next phase?

In my case I hope I'm close to learning all there is to rejection.

At 12:54 AM, Blogger kelebek }{ said...

Being a proud owner of a young very immature soul, I wonder if the love lessons get easier as you get older? Right now it hurts like hell, is it because I am so new to it?
kelebek }{

At 6:15 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Blaze - There is much about you that is wise, and much about you that is just plain ol' HOT!

zoooom - you are a kindred soul

erin - Wisdom does seem to come to you very naturally.

ilaily - Thanks for your sweet comment.

d.i.a. - I don't think your life's work is about rejection at all. You've just got a bad case of the blues, Babydoll.

kelebek }{ - Oh No!!! My sweet Turkish darling girl! All I can say is that it will get better. The only time it gets easier is if you become bitter and hard ... but maybe you don't want to do that. I'm so sorry to know that you're hurting my sweet friend.

At 4:20 PM, Blogger Al said...

Hey babydoll
I guess I'm more of an Old-School Soul, enjoying being a cynical old soul, but fears that I may become that that mean old man soul who yells at the kids for riding bikes across his lawn.
Ya know what they say about expierence - it's something you gain, just after you need it.

At 6:14 PM, Blogger watching22 said...

hey, i started a site about fantasies by women, hope to get some comments and submissions.

At 10:30 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

I have opinions about this as well & I do believe that some are "old" souls & some are "young" souls & so on. Myself? I feel like an old soul. I feel like I'm nearing the end of this particular leg of the journey & honestly? ...I'm ready for the next. This is not a "bad" thing either. I definitely feel called to things far more spiritual than this reality. I yearn for them as a matter of fact.

At 5:31 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Oh...the quote at the end just solidified this post in my young

I think I may be a mix of old & new...but I'm not sure yet.

At 5:00 PM, Blogger Monty said...

Let the first one here that doesn't get hurt in the pursuit of love step forward, please, young or old, or inbetween. Young gets hurt a lot, and gets a lot more chances to make it work. Old gets hurts almost expecting it, but racing the clock without as many chances left. Both hurt, just a little differently. Hurts just the same. Gotta keep moving, time's a wastin'. No time for punctuation, see ya later!

At 6:20 PM, Anonymous Link said...

Excellent post!

I really enjoyed reading this one.

It seems like everyone I meet is an 'old soul' so its refreshing to hear a little to the contrary.

At 2:22 AM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

You might feel you're not such an old soul, Theresa, but it's obviously not that young; you at least recognize the mistakes you make, even if you don't act on them. Young souls are know-it-alls who can do no wrong.

At 9:21 PM, Blogger Maverick said...

You know you're not middle aged? 50 is the new 30!!

Spitting in a Wishing Well


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