Saturday, August 27, 2005

Don’t Love Me Because I’m Beautiful

Someone recently asked me what my type is. They were referring to the physical characteristics I find attractive in men. I thought the question was funny, but I took a minute to reflect on the men in my life just in case I do have a type. The best I could come up with is that I have a definite preference for men with bellybuttons.

If you ask my sister, she’ll tell you I like short, fat bald men with facial hair, because I had a huge crush on a guy in college who looked like that. If you ask Lu, she’ll tell you I like men who are smaller than me. My friends at work will tell you I like the big guys. Then again, I married a 5’11" skinny white guy with long hair and a beard. I still think he's gorgeous.

I wonder if I’m somebody’s type. I took a long look in the mirror today to try to discover what that might be. While I was looking, I noticed a lot of things I didn’t like. I tried to stop doing that and look for the things that other people like. It was difficult and I wasn’t very good at it. When my reflection stopped making any sense at all, I came to the conclusion that I have no idea if my appearance is attractive. However, there must be some parts that are acceptable because little children don’t run screaming from the room when I enter, and I get laid a lot … or I could if I wasn’t so picky.

The truth is, I really do have a type. I like men who are smart, kind, generous, articulate, tender, passionate, thoughtful, funny, confident, respectful, open-minded, honest and fair. Beyond the requisite chemistry, the outer package is irrelevant. When things are right, an otherwise ordinary face in the crowd becomes the only one I see ... the only one I want to see.

So if someone like that is looking for a white, 5’9", plump, green-eyed, curly-headed, 41-year old with 2 boobs (see post below), I’m your type. However, I’m afraid you’ll be wasting your time. I’m going to hold out for the guy who’s looking for ME, rather than a list of physical characteristics. And when he finds me, he will also appreciate my sweet white, plump, 5’9", green-eyed, curly-headed, 41-year old bod, as well as the two complimentary boobies. He'll see that I'm beautiful.

Do you love me because I’m beautiful, or am I beautiful because you love me?
Oscar Hammerstein II


At 12:59 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

It's funny, because I never used to use the descriptive word "type" to describe a guy unless I was trying to explain polietly why he was yacky. It always went "um....he's just not my type." As if I even knew what that was for me? All I knew was that saying that phrase seemed to get people off my back.

When I met the love of my life, I didn't exclaim "WHY, HE'S JUST MY TYPE!" It came out more like "he makes me feel funny, but in a really good way."

Attraction, like math, will surely always be quite a mystery to me.

And I'm still not entirely convinced that my parents didn't pay C lots and lots of something to date me and then actually ask me to marry him.

At 9:38 AM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

You're getting on my good side so far, whether you talk about your quim or not. I feel like everyone knows you're charming. Though I have to admit you might have an ugly voice and I wouldn't know it!

At 9:56 AM, Blogger theresa said...

zoooom - Perhaps Love is something that should remain in the realm of the mysterious. As far as C goes, from what I've seen, he's a very lucky man, and he knows it.

Ron - Thank you for your steadfast adoration. *smooch*
My voice? They call me the "Phone Sex Girl" . . . although I don't . . . or at least I'd never admit it here.

At 2:11 PM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

Love that quote from Hammerstein.

I've learned that the physical "types" are lost on me as well. I used to have a strong leaning towards thin, small-breasted women with either oriental features or red hair. I sought out those women, often received their rejection, and wondered why I couldn't find the type of woman I sought for extracurricular relations.

Then I "lowered" my standards and allowed myself to know a heavy set woman with a less-than remarkable facial appearance. I delighted in the time I spent with her, our hearts entangled, and when I moved from her, I felt a tremendous loss.

So, after that experience, I dropped the concept of types. Sure, I have the occasional hankering for the company of a petite blonde or an overly obese Japanese woman, but unless they resonate with my soul, they ultimately result in nothing more than a passing fancy.

My type is one who can touch my soul and leave an imprint there for the remainder of my life.

At 2:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have a type.
They have to like me.
Now, I'm not saying this is the world's healthiest typing, and I really need to work on it because this has not always worked out me very well, but there you go.

At 5:21 AM, Blogger DLAK said...

Tits? I like tits, lol. Will you marry me?

At 3:40 PM, Anonymous Dating Blog said...

Right on! Physical attributes are overrated.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Kyle - I understand that intangible attraction. I love the surprise when someone I least expect captures my attention and attraction.

Popeye - What you say is soooo true! If a guy doesn't laugh at my jokes, things aren't anywhere.

DLAK - That's the most romantic proposal I've had all week.

Dating - Thanks Dollface!

At 10:48 PM, Blogger Monty said...

You are one of the funniest women i have ever read! I leave gasping for air, having laughed my ass off! Ellen Degeneris has nothing on you! Other than that, you're just drop dead gorgeous, but, hey, that's just my opinion. It's my loss that we have never met. And now, I have to wander through life assless with a lantern, looking for a replacement, otherwise, i won't be able to sit and blog. Keeps getting worse, better quit while .....

At 7:06 AM, Blogger Mr 5.25 said...

Mental attraction is the key. Physical attraction is great but it quickly wears off. I find it far more stimulating to be in bed with someone I care about on an intellectual level.

At 10:22 AM, Blogger Ilaiy said...

According to me .. Falling in love and meeting the right person happens to one in a millon .. Personally i donot care how a woman looks ..

It is all abt what kind of person you are. If your able to respect each other. Would we be able to support each other during all the times.. And the most most important thing.. You should speak to the each other and see what each of them feel about any situation ..

If you get married .. the two of you are not two different people .. It is one person

But i am not sure if woman think the same .. I think looks are mostly deceptive ...


At 1:35 PM, Blogger Erin said...

I couldn't have read this post at a better time. It's wonderful and rare to hear a woman embrace herself as you do. Is the painting yours? I love it.

At 1:35 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Love the quote...

I love your type too...add to that compassion, tolerance, silliness...with a nice smile (& killer shoes).

At 5:55 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hello Theresa,

I'm loving the art work that you are posting. Who are the artists?


At 10:33 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Also, where are all of the posts from you all for the support of those who are dealing with Huricanne Katrina? Mark may have releatives in Bay St.Louis and Pasagoula, MS needing your prayers. Let pass this on. Let us as a AWARE community, figure out what blessings and activities that we can support.

Thanks and Humbly,

At 10:11 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Monty - So what you're saying is that you kinda like me?

Good luck finding your ass ...

Mr 5.25 - The brain is the largest sex organ in the body.

ilaiy - Yes, beauty is skin deep. And, if you're lucky enough to find Love, it should be cherished.

Erin - It depends on the day, Sweetheart. I have some pretty low popints too. The goal is self-acceptance.

I'll start posting where I find the art. This pic is from a private gallery.

Chik - *smooch* Love ya, Babe!

NC Hort - I'm finding most of the art on google images.

My thoughts are definitely with those who are impacted by the hurricane. I hope Mark's family and friends are safe and well.

At 5:29 AM, Anonymous Ty Trowell said...

There are a few books on the subject, some very


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