Thursday, July 07, 2005

I'm Not a Whore, I'm a Slut!

Yesterday someone at work made a joke suggesting that I’m a whore … Oh, and a cheap whore at that. He was joking, and he’s a friend who would never have said such a thing if he knew it would hurt me. However, it did hurt. And I can't get it out of my head. I ended up in the bathroom crying. What's that all about?

Jeez! Don't people know the difference between Sluts and Whores?

I get tired of fighting the Double Standard. Unfortunately, if I give up the fight, the alternative is worse.

I suppose I could find a steady-Eddie and have relations only when he wants to do it. I wouldn’t ever initiate sex because I’m not supposed to like sex. When my Eddie and I do make love, I’ll lay there like a silent plank of wood and let him do what he wants with me. While he’s rutting and burrowing inside my private place, I’ll turn my head to avoid looking him in the eye. I won’t want Eddie to see the shame I feel for allowing myself to be defiled. Maybe I won’t be completely silent. I’ll allow myself a muffled grunt now and then if Eddie gets a little rough. And while I’m counting the ceiling tiles and planning the grocery list for the upcoming week, I might muster a meek little, "Go Eddie", because I know he likes it and it’ll make him finish faster.

I won’t ever ask for what I want. That would be the same as admitting that I like it. Instead, when we’re done, I’ll sneak off to the bathroom and rub one out in the shower while I’m washing Eddie’s sweat off my skin. And maybe when he goes out with his friends, I’ll get out my secret bad-girl toy and pleasure myself. I’ll never tell Eddie about that. He’d be shocked to find out that his girl was "That Kind of Girl".

Sadly, there are women who’ve gone through their entire lives this way. Some sexuality researchers claim that almost 40% of women have never had an orgasm in their lifetime. Globally, women’s sexuality is repressed in horrifying ways. In 40 different countries Female Genital Mutilation (FGM) is still practiced. Hell, until the 1950’s we did it in the United States and Great Britain. Our physicians cut off women’s clits as a treatment for lesbianism, masturbation, depression and marital problems.

Thankfully, things are changing. There are brave people fighting to make positive long-term changes in cultures that continue to practice FGM. Things are changing here too. I’m impatient for them to change faster. I don’t want to hurt and I don’t want to see anyone else hurt by our archaic notions that "good girls don’t".




22 Comments:

At 11:21 AM, Blogger Opaco said...

i would never, ever be able to be in a relationship with a woman like you described.
i make sure my girl is satisfied every single time we make love, have sex, f*#k, or whatever. it is an experience for BOTH of us, not just a service for me.
i just don't understand how people can not want the other person involved to enjoy themselves as well.

 
At 11:58 AM, Blogger Mr 5.25 said...

If you're a whore than so am I. But in reality I'm a slut. So that makes you....

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Opaco - You understand how it's supposed to be. You love and cherish your girl. That's different than thinking women are possessions to be kept, owned and controlled.

Mr 5.25 - It's no secret that I'm a big ol' sex-loving Slut! Glad to have you on my side ... or on my anything for that matter ;)

 
At 2:00 PM, Blogger Rednaked said...

Sadly, I know too many women like the one you described. A few years ago I bought a girlfriend of mine her first "toy" and gave her instructions on how to use it. After many laughing conversations, she called me one morning to thank me. She had achieved her first orgasm at the age of 37.

 
At 4:12 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

And what a charming, exciting, delicious, fascinating slut you are!
No need for tears, sweetheart.

 
At 6:42 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

If Good Girls didn't, then I never would have gotten laid! There may be some bad girls, but I never met them and got to know them carnally. If that's like admitting to being a virgin or late-blooming fucker or something, so be it!

 
At 6:49 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

Hey, Larry, hands off that slippery lady! Or, if you must, let me watch until I'm so revved up and embarrassed that I explode. Pop! goes the weasel!

 
At 3:24 AM, Blogger Snowman said...

Am I supposed to feel lucky that my girlfriend is the more open and knows what she wants type of girl? In that case I really am, because there is nothing more disturbing then a woman that don't "participate" during sex. Hell, I stop when I notice that she doesn't want to have sex but does it anyway just to satisfy me. Sometimes she allows me to stop and sometimes she doesn't but that is then really her choice and more of a turn on for her it seams, haven’t figured that one out yet...

 
At 6:33 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Red - You must have felt so proud! I bet you're a great sex-positive role model for a lot of women in your life.

Larry - My computer's acting funny again.
*smooch*

Ron - Stick with the Good Girls who Do!
... and no fighting over the Love Goddess. Be a good boy and be nice to your weasel.

Snowman - Lots of stuff to figure out when it comes to sex, relationships and emotions. Obviously, you and your Cutie-Pie are a step ahead of many folks. Good for you for paying attention to her moods and motivations.

 
At 8:36 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Hello there my sweet sex lovin slut sister! Missed me? I missed you!!!!
*smooches*

I had 2 very good friends of mine that were like that. They both asked me for advice and I opened "Blaze's sex shop" LOL Seriously, I "showed" them both how to give a blow job (neither one would even CONSIDER it before I showed them!), showed them different "toys" to use, and told them both they needed to masturbate to figure out what feels good to THEM.

It worked! They both have MUCH better sex lives! They just needed someone to help guide them, and they were too ashamed to ask.

 
At 10:06 PM, Blogger Diva in Training said...

"When my Eddie and I do make love, I’ll lay there like a silent plank of wood and let him do what he wants with me."

I was going to say, "the only day that will every happen will be the last day on this earth." Hell I can't even say because if I still can get some on my last day on this earth and I have my mobility there is no way in hell I'm going to just lay still.

 
At 2:19 AM, Blogger K-Dub said...

I just got back and wanted to thank you for your comment. You look damn good yourself if I may say so.

I don't agree with the fact that a man can do all he wants when it comes to sex, and there isn't anything negative about it. Instead he is immortalized and glorified for his conquest. He considered a "Pimp" or a "Player" and that is considered a good thing.

But on the other hand I also want to be the one to break those barriers a woman would have and push her sexually to a higher level. We like innocent women to a degree and your openness scares the shit of of those men (OR women) just because they don't have the balls that you do (not litterally :) Simply to do what you fell not what is OK by standards. (envy and jealousy are too evil tools that are used when people feel inadaquate in the shadow of one such as yourself.

Your not a whore nor a slut, your a lover and judging by what I have read a damn good one...! Never give in to what the world says "IS" You are what you feel and one that "TRULY" loves themself should never speak negative about themself.

ONE (and for those that dont know "LOVE")

 
At 8:49 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Blaze - Hey Hot Chik! Of course you were missed. The temperature of the room goes up 10 degrees whenever you're around.
And, you certainly know how to be a good friend. I hope your girls and their partners appreciate you.

Welcome Hot Big N Sexy Black Goddess - There's always plenty of room for more Goddesses here. You are a girl after my own heart. I tried to be quiet once ... for real. My head nearly exploded.

K-Dub - Handsome, sexy and flattering! Yummy! You get your hot self back here where us Hot Chiks can better appreciate you.
... and yes, last I checked, no balls, however, I've got myself a very fine pair of ovaries!

 
At 11:27 AM, Blogger Casey said...

I'm from Texas, land of the "good girls." Seems everyone I know subtly tries to control your behavior with praise, criticism, or well-meaning "jokes" like this one. I'm sorry your friend hurt your feelings, however unintentional it was.

Your post cracked me up. Congratulations for knowing what you want and not fearing retribution for expressing it. When more women speak out like you, the double standard about sexuality will stop.

Let's hope, anyway...

 
At 9:23 PM, Blogger Popeye said...

Just stumbled across your site in the way you do in blogdom. I'll be back. Great sex-positive stuff. . .

 
At 2:08 AM, Blogger R said...

Well spoken. I am on your side on this one. And if there is anything I can do to help...just let me know.

 
At 6:00 AM, Blogger DLAK said...

Yes, me to. I beleive all women should fuck like monkeys and cum like bears! lol
What else is there to do anyway?
Go sister's!

 
At 1:35 PM, Blogger Dtrini said...

Good girls definitely do and typically do worse than the bad girls talk. Thankfully, all my poisitive experience were with good girls. I married the last one and she is VERY good. :)

 
At 2:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Theresa wrote, "I tried to be quiet once ... for real." OMG, LMAOTFR.....Theresa now that is some funny stuff. Oh thanks for the great laugh, I nearly pist on myself. You = Quiet....not that is not a balanced equation.

Love Ya,
NCHortStud

 
At 8:16 PM, Blogger Maverick said...

Your sarcastic description made me cring deeper and deeper the more you went on. In fact, I'm a little nauseous, now. I find it incredibly depressing that so many women live like that. In fact, remember The Color Purple - I remembered it when I read your description, and that was supposed to be set years upon years ago! And some women still believe that! Ugh, I think I'm going to go take my bath now. Don't let The Man get you down - keep having all the sex you want. Do anything you want, in fact.

Spitting in a Wishing Well

 
At 12:25 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Casey - Thank you, Thank you, Thank you ! ! !

Popeye - Thanks. Sex is supposed to be fun and good ... and goddess willing, plentiful.

r - Thank you, and did you say anything? Hmmmm ... I'll get back to you.

dlak - "...cum like bears" ... That's a new one to me, but if it's a lot, I'll give it a shot!

dtrini - Congratulations on being lucky enough to live your life with a girl who knows how to enjoy herself.

JT - You making shit of me = envy

ssssssssss teeeeeeee ay... - I know the upset tummy feeling you're talking about. It's what happens when you realize how fragile and random your freedom really is. Thanks for your support. I hope the bath helped

 
At 10:29 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your a "slut" after my own heart. I love your blog. Keep writing!!

 

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