Friday, June 10, 2005

Frightening the Monkeys

I’m in the mood for Crazy Jungle Monkey Sex!

What exactly is that, you’re wondering?

Well, it isn’t having sex with monkeys. However, if done properly, it will scare the little buggers right out of their happy little trees.

Crazy Jungle Monkey Sex is the kind of sex that is completely out of control. It’s noisy with grunts, moans, whimpers, sighs, gasps, screams, groans, panting, and screaming. Your bodies are desperate to connect and entwine. Sweat slides along your skin as you twist and wrap around one another. Your pulse races with your rabid enthusiasm.

The force of your bodies uniting knocks over furniture and sends the dog scrambling for cover under the coffee table. Fabric tears and buttons fly. The mattress moves with such force that it turns up somewhere between the dishwasher and the laundry room.

Nothing else matters except feeling the energy and passion of your mate. You are insatiable for one another. You can’t drink enough. The only thing that finally stops you is pure and utter exhaustion. In your final panting, you lay in a heap with no idea where you are, what time it is, or possibly even what day it is.

Whoa … Now, I’m really in the mood …

6 Comments:

At 5:24 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Holy shit my hot sista chik, we are sooooo on the same page!

Monkey sex, pig sex, whatever you want to call it .... it's down and dirty!

I need to get me some of that. soon.

 
At 10:50 AM, Blogger Rednaked said...

Oh yeah. Oh HELL yeah!

 
At 10:05 AM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

Buncha dirty girls! Just my luck, you all live in a different state. I'll have to go back and check the Profiles, you may live on a different planet! Eeee! Heh he eeee! Snoik snoik!

I'm panting and drooling and leaking from every orifice. I'm so embarrassed by all this snot and stuff, but at least I brought some extra Kleenex. Okay, maybe I'm nastier than thou, but you have to be careful what you start these days!

 
At 12:06 PM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

You should consider submitting this definition to Webster's.

 
At 7:42 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

Fshew. Since it's been so hot & sticky here lately & we had a kid free day yesterday... we got to do the sweaty, slippery, slide-y kind of thing. I'm sure there was some panting & whimpering & groaning going on (with the windows wide open which delighted the man for some reason :) ...*sigh*...
it was nice sex. Unfortunately it wasn't as good as I made it seem. Not because it wasn't. But man... I wish my ability to enjoy that interaction for REAL would come back. It's so totally abandoned me which is like the hugest crock ever. Aren't the mid 30's supposed to be a woman's peak?
This is more like a friggin' VALLEY!!
Ok. I'll quit complainin'. ;)

 
At 11:12 AM, Blogger whiskytangofoxtrot said...

*sings*

"Oh-wee-oh-wee-oh.....jungle love......YEAH...oh-wee-oh-wee-oh....girl i'm gonna show YA...my jungle love"

Morris Day was SO the shit!

"Jessie,n-n-now Jerome!"

 

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