Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Same 'Ol Every Day Southern Baptist Same-Sex Wedding

On May 28th, JT and Mark finally got hitched! It was the most beautiful wedding I’ve ever been a part of in my life. As I stood near them witnessing their vows, I thought to myself "Dead Puppies".

I had to do something. The tears were streaming down my cheeks, and I could feel a big ‘ol sob rising up to the surface. I just knew that if it came out, half the wedding party was either going to join me, or they were going to burst into giggle fits. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t actually imagine dead puppies, I just thought the words in my head. It's a special technique I borrowed from a Hot Actor Chik around here. It works every time!

Anyone who didn’t get a little choked up at this wedding couldn’t have been paying attention. It was beautiful in every way. The minister opened the ceremony by welcoming everyone and comforting us with the reassurance that it would be just like every other Southern Baptist same-sex wedding we’d attended before. Everything was perfect from the flowers to the music to the beautiful groom … and the other beautiful groom.

I have to take a moment to focus on the music.

Not every wedding has professional classically trained singers to perform an intregal part of the ceremony. Our long-time friend, Mark W. and his lovely fiancé performed before, as well as, during the wedding ceremony. It was a really special treat. We aren’t talking about any ordinary wedding singers. These kids can really belt it out! … Oh yeah, and Mark is a total Hottie! (Yummy! I’d do him)

Just for fun (and to make JT scream like a little girl) lets do a little survey:
Who’s the more do-able Wedding Singer?

(click on their names to check them out)
Mark W.
Adam Sandler

Cast your votes in the comments section.

* If there’s a tie, I suggest both Mark W. and Adam meet me for a make-out session. I’ll judge the winner after sufficient and rigorous testing.

More about the wedding later. I need to prepare for a possible tie-breaker ... yeah, yeah, I know he's engaged. This is imaginary, people!


At 10:30 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Okay folks, I have know Theresa and Mark W. for EIGHTEEN years and they are my best friends. To have them as part of my wedding was the greatest joy and gift from them. (and Theresa is correct, "It was the BEST wedding EVER." - Thanks Theresa)

Anyway, I have well...um...seen them both....ummmmmm....in all their glory. (Not together of course.) THERESA=WAY FUCKING HOT! But Theresa didn't do anything for me...she's like my sister and we both like big, HARD Dick! Yeah for hard dick! MARK W.=Oh YUCK! It's not a pretty site. Mark once worked for me and to see him sweaty and smelly, makes me proud to be gay. However, I still love him. Hey Theresa, where the hell is the vote for my Mark E.? (Okay, I'm still in honeymoon bliss, but I'll say and do anything to keep getting laid. I'm lovin' this hot pace we're on.)

So PLEASE trust me....VOTE for ADAM SADLER.

Also, remember Theresa's a wee bit horny right now and her senses are off.

Love Ya Theresa!

NCHortStud - JT

At 11:35 AM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

I can see that anyone getting a hard-on around here would have to be very careful with it.

At 11:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh Ron,

Theresa and I always handle hard-ons with the uttermost care and sensitivity.


At 11:44 AM, Blogger theresa said...

JT - I should know better than to provoke you.
... and for the record, I definitely enjoy men from the tops of their gorgeous heads down to their hairy toes, not just the bits in the middle.

At 11:46 AM, Blogger theresa said...

This used to be a relatively tasteful R-rated blog.

At 12:43 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

Hmmm. Which way would I go, if I were going that way? I'd have to say Adam Sandler, as long as I don't have to watch any of his last four movies. The other guy looks gay to me. Plus Sandler is rich, so that's something. And to make this comment really confusing, I'll end with a quote from Randy Newman:
Money can't buy everything. but
It'll get you a half pound of cocaine and
a sixteen year old girl in a long, black limosine.
And that's something.

You can forget your "R" rating now, babe.

At 3:27 PM, Blogger Chick said...

I'd have to say...Adam Sandler...but only if he's just like that character be plays in Spanglish...'cuz he was cute in that...not like the normal...special needs characters he usually plays.

At 4:56 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Mark is definitely NOT GAY! and money cannot make up for the fact that Adam Sandler does nothing for me ... but I haven't seen Spanglish, so perhaps I should reserve my judgement. I still vote for Mark.

Does anyone else see the Hugh Jackman resemblance?

At 7:10 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Sandler does nothing for me, so I'd have to do Mark.

Oh, and I like big, hard dick too.

Just in case you were wondering.

At 8:43 AM, Blogger Rednaked said...

I vote for Mark. Those eyes..mmmm.

At 11:00 AM, Blogger luna said...

Adam. But I'd make him wear a dress.

At 12:08 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Looks like 4-3 (Adam - Mark)
I'll call an end to voting at midnight tonight (Wed)

At 2:16 PM, Blogger Michael G said...

Since I am straight, I will have to not go by looks,( I have never seen Mark) I will have to go with personality, or guy talk for; someone I would want to have a beer with. And since Adam is Not funny but annoying, Mark gets my vote.

Plus I love a tie...

At 4:48 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Come on people, for the love of humanity.....please, Please, PLEASE vote for that hottie..Adam Sandler

I shall not conceed Theresa.....there are still several hours left.....

Love Ya,

At 9:16 PM, Blogger theresa said...

JT - I can not believe I raised you from nearly a pup. Let's review:

Adam Sandler: Can't sing, rarely shows acting talent, sometimes accidentally funny, and and definitely NOT HOT. The best thing he's got going for him is his proximity to Drew Barrymore.

Mark W.: Fan-fucking-tastic singing talent, good hugs, gorgeous shoulders (not evident in the photo), laughs at my jokes ... and most of yours, and he's actually a HOTTIE!!!

Where did I go wrong with you?

At 9:22 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh My God. Mark is a major major hottie. That hair, those eyes. And he can sing? Count me in. My vote is for Mark. And it's not midnight yet,so it counts. ;-)

At 10:47 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I have to pick Mark because:
-Theresa told me to
-Adam Sandler with 80's hair is very bad
-I don't see the resemblance with Hugh Jackman, but I will believe Theresa that it's there (I think Hugh is cute, but I don't think he's ever been a wedding singer, but I digress...)
-Mark's got a strong face and baritones have some of my favorite vocal repertoire in the classical genre
-and Theresa told me to

Now I'm off to bed (to dream of Hugh Jackman...)

Ruth Ruth

At 11:04 PM, Blogger Clark K. said...

I thought Mark looked like Vince Neil.

I vote for Hugh Jackman.

At 12:30 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Its after midnight and the polls are officially closed.

Adam Sandler: 4
Mark Walters: 6
Hugh Jackman: 1
Mark E: 1

Hugh Jackman called a few minutes ago. He found out about the contest and was kind of bummed that he didn't get more write-in votes. (btw, he thinks Clark is hot too). I offered to make-out with him as a consolation, but he changed the subject and started asking a lot of questions about the Cunnilingus Throne ... so if ya don't hear from me for a few days ...

Oh, and JT,
I WIN ! ! !


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