Wednesday, June 29, 2005

That's Erotic?

What’s really truly erotic? Is it sexy naked long-legged 19-year old girls with big tits and narrow hips? Is it buffed tan college athletes strutting about with their alcohol-induced bravado? What about navel rings? Belly shirts? Pouty lips and sultry eyes? Thong panties? Tattoos? Cock-rings? Lap dances? …

So far, none of those things have ever truly done much for me except grab my attention for a little while. Sure, I like to look at some of the pretty people with all their attention-getting devices. They might be sexy as hell, but sexy isn’t the same as erotic. Erotic stuff is personal. It’s personal between my lover and I.

I once had a lover who was exceptionally good at holding hands. I loved going to the movies with him because I knew that he’d hold my hand the whole time. His hands were exactly the right size for holding mine. He’d move his hand just enough to be stimulating, but not too much so that it became irritating. Sometimes he’d wrap his hand around and gently squeeze, and sometimes he’d lace his fingers through mine and tenderly caress up and down. It drove me crazy, but I didn’t want it to stop. It was established early on that he was always in charge. The few times that I tried to take over, he quickly regained dominance. I didn’t struggle too much. I liked letting him be in charge of that part. And while all this was happening, he’d be watching the flick, as if nothing else was going on. In fact, he actually expected me to be able to have an intelligent conversation about the movie afterward.

There was a period of time not too long ago when I was really tired. I needed to sleep but couldn’t seem to relax long enough to get the good kind of rest that my body needed. One afternoon, I stopped to see a new guy who I’d been seeing. He invited me to cuddle on the couch with him while he read. I fell asleep curled up against him. That was the best nap of my life. When I woke up, he wasn’t complaining that I was making him hot or putting his arm to sleep. He was simply content to have me there with him. Something about that moment was such a turn-on.

Almost 15 years ago I had a one-night stand. He wasn’t supposed to call again, but I liked him so I gave him my real phone number. He called a couple days later. That was one spectacular night that turned into a 10-month roller coaster ride. I don’t remember how well he held my hand, but I do remember the tingle I felt when he looked at me with his gorgeous green eyes. I remember the way my knees went all wobbly when he stood behind me and held my arm to show me how to shoot darts properly. And … I’ll never forget how breathtakingly beautiful he looked the last time I saw him … the day I said goodbye. He called again yesterday. I still get excited every time I hear his voice.

Sometimes the truly erotic part of a relationship happens in a moment. It’s the moment when you notice the thing that is honestly beautiful about that person. You don’t want to lose it, so you capture it and hold it in your heart. It grows to be more extraordinary and exciting because you make it so.

16 Comments:

At 8:05 AM, Anonymous ed said...

Very nicely put and so true.

 
At 9:36 AM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

So good to have the Love Goddess back...

 
At 9:44 AM, Blogger Mr 5.25 said...

Nicely put. But what do I know about eroticism? I find blue M&Ms to be erotic.

 
At 10:33 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Ed - Thanks ... and if anyone knows about eroticism, it's you, my man!

Larry - Glad to be back. I just needed a break to gather data ... I mean experiential wisdom ...
Eh, who am I kidding? Mostly I was paralysed with a bum computer.

Mr 5.25 - The reason you find blue M&Ms erotic is because they are. I've got my party hats on just thinking about those little saphire gems!

 
At 11:02 AM, Blogger Kyle Stich said...

"What is erotic?"

Now, that's kind of like trying to define love, isn't it?

Seems easy to define, but once we really examine our explanation, we're left with examples or analogies but nothing concrete. That's the beauty of ideas like eroticism and love, they're mysterious and elusive; who doesn't love the unknown?

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger R. U. Serious said...

You know what's erotic?

Midgets!

Damned If I Know

 
At 7:53 PM, Blogger Opaco said...

mental pictures. don't know if that is a term used a lot but it is one that i use all the time.

i take mental pictures of moments in our relationship i wish to remember forever.

she loves it when i tell her i just did. i'm a dork, i know.

 
At 8:05 PM, Blogger Kay said...

Erotic is what makes me want to murmur "god I love you" when I don't. I need a better response than that for eroticism.

 
At 11:14 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Kyle - who doesn't love a good mystery?

r.u. - You have something in common with someone who lives in my house. Someone googled "midget sex" on my computer ... and it wasn't me.

Opaco - You are one of the sexiest dorks I know!

Kayten - Sister, you know exactly what I'm talking about!

 
At 10:45 AM, Blogger Opaco said...

a sexy dork...

yes!

 
At 1:54 PM, Blogger Chick said...

I once dated a guy who was only a couple of inches taller than me...he was about 5' 5"...but if you asked him...he'd add 5 inches (he thought Tom Cruise's height was acceptable...not his...short is short, there's not 2 ways about it...but there's nothing wrong with that...in my book)...anyway...

He'd stand behind me...while we were waiting to be seated in a restaurant, or when we were waiting to cross the street...& I'd feel his breathe on my neck...it was a small thing...but I loved the tingle it gave me.

 
At 5:57 PM, Blogger Maverick said...

Yes, nice post. Oh, the hands. One of my favorite things someone did to me was to massage lotion into my hands. A long massage of the hands. It was SO relaxing. Not really so much erotic at the time, but comforting.

I think what's really sexy is being on the same wavelength. Understanding each other intuitively, being able to finish each other's sentences. Having that connection.

 
At 9:21 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

What's most erotic is all you strangers not knowing what I find erotic. Except for that! Damn, can't say nuthin' right.

 
At 9:33 AM, Blogger K-Dub said...

Wow that was deep. I have to admit I never really thought much about it, but for me its when you can stare at someone for what feels like forever.

When you can look in a woman's eyes and see how she really feels. I could go on about that, but I don't want to take up too much of your time and space.

One Love

K

 
At 1:32 PM, Blogger Dtrini said...

Very cool post. Just when one thinks one has some deep thoughts, someone shows you how much of an amateur you are. :)

 
At 4:14 AM, Blogger Tiger said...

...yeah. I was thinking to myself throughout this entry--it's all about the "moment."
...I've had myself a few "moments." :) (am glad you have as well! :)

 

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