Thursday, November 11, 2004

Things to Remember When You Feel Like Crap

  1. The camera really does add 10 pounds.
  2. There are no mistakes, only lessons. You will keep repeating lessons until you die.
  3. Your dog always understands.
  4. Everything that happens is exactly what is supposed to happen.
  5. Your pussy hair is supposed to be there - Don't shave it, no matter how much he begs.
  6. The pre-requisite to courage is fear (this does not apply to pussy-shaving).
  7. A great haircut can do as much for your figure as a month at the gym.
  8. You don't need anyone else's approval to be fan-fuckin-tastic.
  9. You can never have enough shoes, chocolate, or sex toys.
  10. Even if all your dreams come true, there are no guarantees.
  11. Even if your dreams don't come true, it doesn't mean you can't be blissfully happy.
  12. People don't wear pajamas often enough (especially to work).
  13. The only thing you can really control is what you say, do and sometimes what you feel.
  14. There is no such thing as natural cleavage (thanks to push-up bras, not everyone needs to know this).
  15. Trust is earned, not given away.
  16. Vaginas don't smell like fish (what stupid bastard came up with that myth?).
  17. Money is over-rated (best to give as much away as you can).
  18. Coffee is the Universe's way of saying "move your damn ass girl." and it was good.
  19. Love is always the best thing on heaven and earth, even when it hurts like hell.

4 Comments:

At 8:16 PM, Blogger Goldfish Shoals said...

Bridget Jones will always make you feel better. It's a great bonding experience to watch it with your gal pals when you're feeling down. Hooray for Bridget Jones II, tomorrow!

 
At 8:20 PM, Blogger theresa said...

We're watching Bridget Jones right now! How Hot is that? I'm logging off to pour a cocktail and pay attention.

 
At 11:32 PM, Blogger dwduck said...

Do cats understand also? :) Tell me one thing Theresa...why do women love shoes? The other two things okay...but shoes? And yes...the best things hurt the worst.

 
At 3:38 PM, Blogger theresa said...

DW - I think cats definitely understand, in fact some of them are strikingly sensitive. I once had a very cool cat (Atticus Finch) who usually acted all aloof. However, when I broke my ankle and was in a lot of pain he was a huge cuddle monster. On a similar note, I have a personal theory (completely un-tested by any scientific method) that men who genuinely love cats also genuinely love women. As for the shoes, I can only speak for myself. I adore them because I love walking in a room with the stride of confidence that a great pair of shoes gives me.

 

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