Monday, May 21, 2007

True Love Stories

It had been two years since I'd been forced.
Two years since I’d let anyone close to me.
He seemed to understand.
He seemed to care.
Especially when we fucked
and he told me that he loved me.

But when I found out that he'd lied,
That he'd lied about everything,
That he'd been married all along,
I felt betrayed

I found his wife and called her
To say I was sorry.
She said she was sorry too.
Later, she left him.
I was glad she left before he got sick,
Before his lies made her sick too.

Lies can be a tricky thing. You have to plan ahead, prepare for contingencies, and commit. He should have picked a different lie.

The ex-girlfriend, a baby, and a sense of responsibility story was ill-conceived. It probably seemed to be the perfect way out. He could keep his status as a good guy and dump me without an ugly rejection scene. Too bad he couldn't pull it off. He was a crappy liar. He also changed his mind and wanted to come back. That's not the kind of lie you can undo.

I deserved something believable. He could have said he had a gambling problem or he was tired of the long-distance thing. Maybe it would have hurt less if he had told me the truth. Yes, the truth.

The Truth: he didn’t want me anymore. Hell, I figured it out anyway.


There was nothing extraordinary about him
Except the way he loved me.
He did it well,
Very well.
Not how I wanted, but how I needed.
And I adored him for it.

He said he loved everything,
Touching my soft belly
as much as my soft curls,
Smiling at my awkward shyness
as much as my graceful wit,
Listening to my self-involved passions
as much as my hours of silence.
He loved being with me,
Just me.

But it wasn't long before something changed.
Bad timing?
Too many flaws?
A twisted game?
I didn't understand, at least not then.
He said he loved me too much.
Then, he pushed me away.


At 11:41 AM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

Oh, darling... Sigh. You're such a tender soul.

At 3:56 PM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Sounds like a few pages out of my own "love" book.

I'm sorry sweetheart.
Apparently, they were unable to "deal" with the intelligent, funny, sexy, BEAUTIFUL Love Goddess in a mature and loving way.

You deserve so much better ....

At 9:22 AM, Blogger Dan said...

Your posts are so powerful Sweetie. I search for words, for something to say in response, but when I start typing it all sounds so trite.

So I'm just giving you a warm hug right now.

At 8:35 AM, Blogger Theresa said...

Ron, and deep down, under all your crustiness, you're a tender soul too.

My sweet Firey Hotness, thank you for always being so loving and supportive. We live and learn, eh?

Dan, you give the best virtual hugs! ... the BEST!!! And like Blaze said, these stories aren't unique to me. We can all connect in our ability to feel pain, but more importantly to know LOVE ... like with you.

At 8:09 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

I see you've got that cool photo of you back in the profile! Did you fix it or did it fix itself? in any case: Hoo Hah!

At 5:26 AM, Blogger captain corky said...

I really love reading your stuff. It's really good.

At 6:57 PM, Blogger Ranting said...

It is sad, but women usually get the title of being "fickle" or "flaky". The truth is men are just as much the same, they just don't share as well as women do. It is too bad lies are made instead of speaking truths.

I read your words and could feel your pain through your words. Powerful stuff.

At 7:10 AM, Blogger Chick said...

"The way he liked you"...I wish it didn't ring true with me...but it does it have to be so complicted sometimes?

As always...your words are lovely.

At 4:17 PM, Blogger eric313 said...

That first part was killer. You have great emotional pull in your writing. Nice work.

At 3:22 PM, Blogger Mr. Shoes said...

yes, excellent writing

lots of pull

these moments of emotion are why i began blogging

b/c there was no one to tell and so i told everyone who might stop by and glance at me

and it worked ok

and now, i'm blogging about more fun topics

i've made some friends in the blog world and we share

and the rest can read me if they desire ... see if there's anything they can discern from a daily selection of adorable shoes

At 11:24 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Lovely, happy thoughts aimed right towards you. . .

At 8:14 PM, Anonymous bread and butter said...

I JUST have gone thru what sounds almost identical. I am having trouble accepting it....But how long does it take to not cry out for him? How long does it take to not feel the stab in your heart when something that was close to your heart reminds you of him? I want to get mad, but I can't seem to do it. I truely believed in his trustworthiness and kindness. Thank you.

At 11:01 PM, Blogger Mike said...


We would like to do an interview with you about your blog for . We'd like to give you the opportunity to
give us some insight on the "person behind the blog."

It would just take a few minutes of your time. The interview form can
be submitted online at

Best regards,

Mike Thomas

At 9:56 PM, Blogger ~Deb said...

Beautifully written, with a very sad ending to it all.

Sometimes, the lies become people's truths.

Hang in there!

At 12:39 AM, Anonymous MsRebecca said...

Wow.. phenomenal writing.. I love it! You had me sitting here in the dark at 1:36 a.m. all intent, hair all over my head,refusing to sleep until I'm finished reading your page..


At 10:45 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn, your story hits very close to home.


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