Monday, September 04, 2006

How to Get Laid

A few of my friends are deeply concerned about the fact that I haven’t been laid in quite a while. I might be concerned too, if all I wanted was sex. Getting laid is easy. I can give you step-by-step, fool-proof instructions on targeting and snaring a one-night-stand from a bar/party/public library, etc. full of men. You simply assess other people’s strengths and weaknesses, use your own strengths to get the desired interest, and negotiate an agreeable arrangement … while batting your eyelashes and pouting seductively (a pair of snug jeans, high heels, and a low cut sweater don’t hurt either). It also helps that I’m a woman, I live in a college town, and according to Good Morning America, MILFs are all the rage these days. It’s sweet of my friends to care about my well-being, but they’re concerned about all the wrong things.

What is it they say? Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results. Or is that stupidity? It doesn’t matter. If what I really want is a caring, intimate relationship, I’m not going to get it from someone that thinks my best quality is the shape of my ass. And, it’s going to take a little more work on my part than getting dolled up and hitting the town. I’m going to need to invest myself, genuinely give a shit about another person, and take some emotional risks.

I probably won’t get laid tonight, or even next week. Believe it or not, that makes me happy. It’s a comfort to know that I’m not just going through the motions. I’m not holding my breath to prove I have will-power. It’s what I want to do because it feels honest.

So if you miss the Hot Chik from a year ago that blogged about the joys of sex, and posted public service announcements from her vagina, there are plenty of other great bloggers doing a fine job covering those topics. I think I’m on a journey of Love. I guess I always have been.


At 11:46 AM, Blogger mike said...

Hmm. Your comments are similar to those I got from my spiritual advisor last week. You must be quite a spiritual person yourself.

At 12:12 PM, Blogger clew said...

You go girl.

Havent been by in a while, wanted to say hello. Sounds like you're doing well. :)

At 12:37 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I think people sometimes forget that getting laid isn't the most important part.

At 1:03 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...


At 1:59 PM, Blogger Ron Southern said...

Well, I'm sitting here twiddling my thumbs. I think of other things I could do with my thumbs, but it's not a sure thing. I could hitch hike on out of here. I could suck it. I could offer to let you sit on it! Or engage you in conversation about the thrills of thumbdom! I don't think any of it would work. I have been waxing Crazy of late, but that doesn't help either of us, does it?

I don't know if I ever mentioned it, but the last time I used a name for business, it was "Pretentious Arts Leather Company". It's a variation, I guess, of the snake swallowing it's own tail. Or is that crazy? It could be.

At 3:57 PM, Blogger Ed said...

Good for you.
The journey of Love is the best journey there is.

At 7:44 PM, Blogger Larry Jones said...

I think you've always been on the same journey, sweetheart, and my wish for you is that your journey will always be exciting, enlightening and - eventually - satisfying, even if the trains aren't always on time.

At 10:56 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Mike - You'll have to let me know how things work out for you.
And, I'm not so sure I'd call myself a "spiritual" person. I'm just trying to reduce the amount of time I'm a total dumbass. Sweet of you to say so, though.

Clew - Good to see you, Sweets!

Shaun - Where did you go?

Popeye - Thanks for piping in.

Ron - Maybe you could sit on your own thumb.

Ed - You, my Dear, know much about the joy of Love.

Larry - Thank you for such a lovely wish.

At 6:23 AM, Blogger Imelda said...

I'm with you Hon. I also think the journey we took to get to this point has been just as important as appreciating what lies ahead of us now.

At 7:49 AM, Blogger Al said...

hey kiddo -
glad you're back
you know what they say
"love is a rose, but you better not pick it"

At 9:45 AM, Blogger JayneSays said...

It seems like you have gone through a bit of a transformation over the past year. I am so enjoying reading about your realizations and unfolding. You deserve Love.

It took me getting my shit together and then writing down a detailed description of the kind of person I wanted in my life (smart, handsome, funny, loyal, low-maintenance, etc.) and really putting some thought into who I wanted in my life . . . I met him within the month of writing that list.

The Law of Attraction says whatever you "put out" (energetically, not sexually) into the Universe, you will receive back. Good luck!

At 4:26 PM, Blogger Unacknowledged Genius said...

We don't ever stop our journeying do we, we just start a different leg.

okay that sounded sorta silly...that's what happens when I try to get all philosophical and shit.

At 8:56 PM, Blogger ZooooM said...

There's a time/place for getting laid and a time/place for love. Love determines when it's going to show up. We determine when we are going to get laid. Sometimes the two combine forces.

If I think about it too hard, I wonder how anyone got to fall in love, ever. Sort of how I wonder how anyone got pregnant ever. Because they tell you the timing and everything has to be perfect. That there's only a limited time each month it can happen. Seems to be the same for love - in a weird, metaphorical way.

I guess I'm trying to say "I'm glad you are ready for that time to fall in love - even though you will probably have no idea it's on it's way until you've been struck."

At 9:13 AM, Blogger Bougie Black Boy said...

once again! this has to be one of your best posts! Come to NYC and your deflowering will happen just by walking the streets!

At 12:56 PM, Blogger Steve said...

I am really glad, T.
No sense in ever apologizing for wanting something that you truly need. :)

At 7:41 PM, Blogger kelebek }{ said...

Oooh, "journey of love" So much better than "how to get laid" Journey on!

At 9:34 PM, Blogger nosthegametoo said...

My dear, I'm sure we're all happy that you've decided to take another plunge into love. Happy huntin.

By the way, if you find out how to make a loving relationship work and function "normally", let me know so I can close down my blog.

At 11:33 PM, Blogger Chick said...

I always love how you put things.

At 3:43 PM, Blogger Aisha T. said...

Mmmm...yes, sex is very easy to find. Like you, I'm a girl so that makes it all the easier. Love though, that is a bit more difficult. Good luck in your journeys (and with your swweeeeet ass!)

At 10:55 PM, Blogger No_the_game said...

Lovely Lady,

Again you are putting such a journey infront of you. Yes it takes a consious decesion to look for love and wisdom to seperate love from laid.

I want to know where journey is takking you. One thing need to be kept in mind sometimes we think we love but it turns out we deluted ourself into something else.

Good luck and luck the man who will have your heart.


At 5:51 PM, Blogger Chris said...

Hi. Would you happen to know of any blogs about Pick Up Artists? I'm trying to do a little research. If anyone has any info/blogs of/on PUA's, can they please pass it along?



At 11:59 AM, Blogger AndyT13 said...

Well I'm just glad to see you posting. Good luck on your quest.
Everyone wants love but I'll settle for a little action.

At 1:21 PM, Blogger naive-no-more said...

Hellooooo? Is any one out there? Theresa, where are you?


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