Sunday, January 08, 2006

My Life as a Stripper

Regret is toxic. It keeps you from living your life. I’ve known tragic people who have harbored decades of regrets about the decisions they’ve made. They married the wrong person, made a bad career decision, trusted someone who wasn’t worthy, or found themselves in the wrong place at the wrong time not knowing what to do. Even when really bad things happen to us, even when we screw up royally, we must allow ourselves time to grieve and then move on with the knowledge that we are stronger and wiser because of our experiences.

When I think back on my life, I’m grateful for the richness and diversity of my adventures … even those that turned ugly. I’m aware that I fall on my face more often that the average girl, but that may be because I fight the urge to let fear control me. I love the heady rush of stepping into the unknown, having faith that everything is going to be all right.

No one walks out their door every morning thinking, "Today, I’m going to make a mess of my life." At the very minimum, we exit the safety of our homes intent on getting through the day the best we can. That’s good enough. It’s even better when we can take our dreams and ambitions with us. There’s lively excitement and adventure when we strive to do better than simply making it to the end of the day.

Passion cannot exist without courage. You must face your fears in order to live a passionate life.

So now I suppose you’re wondering about the stripper reference in the title. Eh … I was just trying to get the porn surfers to drop by and artificially boost my hits. I put the site counter on the blog last January 11th. I wanted to reach 75,000 hits this year.


Okay, a little tidbit to wet your whistle. Twice, I was recruited by real-life strippers to join the ranks of the bare-tittie shakers. They promised to teach me the trade and make sure I made a crap-load of money. As a struggling college student, was I tempted by $3000+ a week? Nope … and definitely no regrets.

(No, that's not a picture of me. However, I do have an enviable collection of feather boas.)

27 Comments:

At 9:50 PM, Blogger No_the_game said...

WOW,

A great writting. I always enjoy what you say. It makes me feel I am not that much of a looser after I read your posting. U r my true mentor.

I am so glad you put the disclaimer that picture is not you. I was thinking it might be you. :)

New pic of your on the profile is awesome.

Luv,
No_the_GAME

 
At 11:33 PM, Blogger gnightgirl said...

You always knock me off my ass.

This entry made me pontificate: Something good has always come of the Crap I've willingly signed up for.

I'm screwing up the courage to start writing about it. You helped.

 
At 8:24 AM, Blogger Steve said...

Beautifully stated, T.

Sorrow and regret are two different things...many people don't see the difference.

Genuine sorrow can lead us to personal change. It can be a strong motivator. We can learn from our mistakes...because faith is behind it. We know that change is possible.

Regret, on the other hand, stymies us. We come to doubt ourselves. We come to disapprove of ourselves...no faith...no love...no possible joy.

We are just stuck with lingering personal doubts and disappointment.

I agree with you: it takes a large amount of personal courage to live passionately...but like you, I feel it's the only way that I want to live. And like you, I want to "step out" in this faith every single day.

We must lose the regrets.

 
At 8:31 AM, Blogger Laurie said...

I completely, totally, and heartily agree with everything that you said, especially this line:

"Passion cannot exist without courage. You must face your fears in order to live a passionate life."

That's the motto that I've always lived my life by. Because of that, like you, I've taken some nasty spills, but I'm stronger and richer because I learned from those bumps in the proverbial road of life.

As for stripping, I thought about it once or twice, tempted by the easy and plentiful money - but then I decided that I wanted to be able to look at myself in the mirror, and I don't think that I could if I was selling myself out like that. A lot of strippers are ok with what they do, and I totally respect that - it's just not for me.

Great post, T - I swear that you and I are kindred souls. :-)

 
At 10:13 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

Ah my hott-T .... some very wise, and very truthful words!
I have ALWAYS lived by, "Life is meant to be lived. How can you live it by watching from the sidelines?".
One MUST get in the game!

 
At 10:16 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

oh, and the stripping???
Not for me.
Not PUBLICLY anyway.
I have however, won a few wet t-shirt contests in my day! ;)



*roflmao*

 
At 10:19 AM, Blogger Blazngfyre said...

oh damn, I lied.
There WAS this one time, in Canada.
I got up on stage with the girls.
I took my shirt and pants off.
Danced around in my 'underthings',
I made almost $200 (canadian),
.... just for THAT!

I was REALLY drunk.
*sigh*

 
At 11:56 AM, Blogger JayneSays said...

Great post, Love Goddess! I'm with you on living without regrets! Seriously, if you think about it, the past does not exist, except in people's imaginations. Really -- show me the past, where is it? Yep, it doesn't exist. Either does the future. Just the Now, darling, and what a glorious Now it is, especially with you in the world : )

 
At 2:19 PM, Blogger Aisha T. said...

Theresa: Yup, you never get anywhere unless you try. I've fallen on my face many a time. I should have no teeth left with how many times I've fallen. But, like you said, I don't see it as a bad thing. I don't want to be 80 and say "I wish I did....." What if I don't make it to 80 and get hit by a bus tonite? Same thing. Although, I tend to be more cautious with romance. I loved singledom (so much freedom!) and yeah, I can be a chicken in that department. I'm like Elaine Benes in finding the one turn off that grates on nerves. I still take chances and maybe in some people's eyes gigantic leaps. The relationships I've had have been amazing including current beau who is wonderful.

 
At 2:20 PM, Blogger Aisha T. said...

BTW, the stripper pic--yeah, caught my eye and made me sit and read fast and furiously. The hook works!

 
At 8:26 PM, Blogger theresa said...

nothegame - Thanks, Larry took the pic when I was in CA in in November. Yeah, I tend to be naked a lot, but so far, there are no pictures ... that I know of.

gnightgirl - write it out, Girl!!!

steve - you strike me as a "go-for-it" type of guy. Thanks for your thoughts. I especially like your distinction between sorrow and regret.

laurie - kindred hot chik souls. Speaking of, I've been thinking that my sweet ass would look ever-so-good on a bike.

blaze - you are such a wild thing! I'd love to hear all your stories.

jayne - a brilliant spiritual soul like yours would intuitively understand this sort of thing.

aisha - I've always seen that you are a woman of great strength and courage.

 
At 10:19 PM, Blogger Chick said...

Shake it girlie!

But how do you shake those unshakeable regrets...I'll forever try.

I need to get myself a boa...just for the smile factor.

Well written...as always : )

 
At 11:40 PM, Blogger ZooooM said...

Wow. I really needed to read this today. Thank you.

Also, I've always said that if I could be reincarnated, I'd totally come back as a stripper. A legit stripper, if my nieve brain can indeed know what that means.

Someone who just dances nekkid for cash. No sex, no drugs. No f'd up life as a result. Just someone who might be able to be comfortable with her body, make a ton of cash and retire early to travel and take college classes for the rest of her life.

I know that being the me I am now I'd never be able to do it. But, if I could take the me that likes to do off the wall stuff, all in the name of fun that doesn't hurt anyone, then I'd love to do it.

 
At 6:23 AM, Blogger Anonymous Assclown said...

I'm more curious as to where you got the picture. I suppose you could have just got it online, but I think you probably scanned it from your neatly organized comprehensive library of vintage pornography/
Lessee, would that be under "B" for "Burlesque" or "S" for "Stripper"?

 
At 8:20 AM, Blogger Al said...

I think I've learned more from my mistakes - and they wind up being material for great stories.
Who wants to only live life on the sidelines, who wants to only drive the speed limit, who wants to only eat ham sandwiches,

"did you exchange a walk on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?"

Leaving the whole stripper thing alone - not touching with a 10 foot pole (bad pun alert)

 
At 10:35 AM, Blogger AndyT13 said...

Having (ahem) DATED a number of strippers and hung out with many of them quite a bit I can tell you that you didn't miss anything. The damage to their self esteem wasn't worth it. Being objectified ruined their self image and made them completely self destructive. These amazingly beautiful women felt completely ugly and took it out on themselves with a vengeance. It was frightening to watch and either killed or utterly ruined the ones I've known. Kinda wrecked a night at the titty bar for me.

 
At 12:45 PM, Blogger mrs.tj said...

Good way to get hits!
Just wanted to drop by as another Iowa Chick!
Holla!

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Plimco said...

When I first saw that picture I thought, How hot! A pregnant stripper! But...wait. IS that stripper pregnant?

 
At 8:47 PM, Blogger Polyman2 said...

Terger is regret spelled backwards.
I don't understand what that means;
but then again, I don't understand the meaning of regret, for I never indulged.

I've said this once before;
To regret 1 thing
is to open the floodgates of regret.
For are we not the product of the sum of all our life experiences,
good and bad?

...and by the way- nice fun bags.

 
At 8:54 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Chick - Everyone feels glamorous in a boa. Maybe a deep emerald green for you. I don't think you'd regret it.

Zoom - You gotta let that hot chik wild child inside you come out to play once in a while! Good attitude about stripping.

AC - You think you're so clever. Don't pretend you didn't send me that photo.

Al - You are terribly punny.
Babe, I've never thought of you as a sidelines sort of guy.

Andy - I spent time with such women and observed the same tragic things. A lot of people might miss that, focusing only on the excitement of being with a stripper. It's refreshing to know that you understand the damaging dynamic that occurs when women are objectified.

Mstj - Love me some Iowa Hot Chiks!

Plimco - I liked her because she looks like an ordinary woman. She might be pregnant, or she might just keep a little extra around her middle.

 
At 8:56 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Polyman - That's a great attitude about regret.
Fun bags? Ohhhhh, I get it! (teehee)

 
At 10:56 AM, Blogger MaMaMe said...

love what you said. i regret....a lot. and it does eat away at your soul.

 
At 12:54 PM, Blogger Anonymous Assclown said...

OK, I confess - that's actually a picture of me pre-op.

 
At 1:57 PM, Blogger Shephard said...

A collection of feather boas... do you ever spread them all out on the bed, and just jump in the middle of them?

No regrets. Wonderful message. "We're better off for all that we let in."
~S

 
At 3:59 PM, Blogger Bougie Black Boy said...

Anonymous Coward,
The surgery seems to have went well. You look Absolutely Fabulous!
LOL

On a different note, Theresa, I like how you say, "I love the heady rush of stepping into the unknown, having faith that everything is going to be all right."

This is how I feel. I like living somewhat on the edge. Everything I've done thus far has went on my "faith" alone, that everything will be alright. And, sometimes, that's all we have and that's all we need, just to get by.

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger theresa said...

MaMaMe - Be patient with yourself, Sweetie.

AC - Whether you're an innie or an outie, you'll always be loveable to me.

Shephard - Great idea! Guess what I did after work tonight!

Stephen - I can't imagine anything or anyone holding you back, Babe!

 
At 10:21 PM, Blogger Maverick said...

Liar! You were never a stripper! Otherwise, I would be all over that.

Altho, the picture does kind of look like you. You planned that, I'm sure.

You know, I keep having a recurring dream about my last serious relationship. I feel like I failed so badly, and my mind keeps replaying it over-and-over again. It's terrible. But, I guess at least my mind is trying to come to terms with it. Very, very slowly.

Good post.

Maverick Kumari

 

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