Sunday, April 23, 2006

Is She Foolish or Brave?

Courage is going from failure to failure without losing enthusiasm.
Winston Churchill

Sometimes shitty things happen. Sometimes really, really shitty things happen. Most of us have lived through rotten jobs, break-ups, health problems, financial stress, the tragic loss of loved ones and other sad experiences. These things can be overwhelming and leave us feeling drained. We want to hole up somewhere, protect ourselves and heal before we venture out into the dangerous world again. Even then, we feel more cautious and alert. We’re supposed to learn from our experiences, toughen up and avoid previous pitfalls. Shame on us if we repeat our mistakes or don’t prepare ourselves.

But I wonder what sort of life that is …
Always on alert.
Ever aware of potential danger or pain.
Cautious about any new thing that crosses our path.


How on earth could we ever fall in love?

After a lifetime of roller coaster experiences with love, I’ve accumulated a beautiful store of exquisite tender memories. Despite the bitter gut-wrenching pain of each break-up, those memories are mine. No one can take them away from me. The risk, the investment, and the pain were always worth it. I might have needed some time to crawl into a hole and lick my wounds, but I always reemerged to try again.

This last time, I stayed in my hole a good long time. It was worth it I think. Now, as I emerge, I feel stronger than ever. It seems easier to cast my doubts and insecurities aside. It’s easier to not only act brave, but to feel brave. Some people say I’ve become more foolish, but I don’t think so. I know what I want and don't want. I know what the risks are. I know how much it hurts when things don’t work out. I also know what it means when love becomes real. There’s nothing better in all the world.

About a year ago, a very dear friend predicted that I had yet to experience the greatest love of my life. His prediction surprised me because he tends to be a fairly practical sort of man. I like to think that he was on to something with his foretelling.


Whoever said anybody has a right to give up?
Marian Wright Edelman

21 Comments:

At 3:36 PM, Blogger Dick the Boomer said...

I agree with your friend, and I'm confident you will realize his prediction.

 
At 8:15 PM, Blogger Polyman2 said...

Bitch, bitch, bitch,
but never give up.

I had a period some years back,
whenever something good happenned it
was immediataly followed by an onslought of bad.
Was a chore to perserve.

Must have faith that good will prevail.

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Steve said...

Arroyos are carvings...waterways. I think of arroyos like I do our hearts. Each experience digs a little deeper. Adds more dimension, depth, to our knowledge and our feelings. Sometimes the waterways dry up. Nothing seems to flow. Other times, it rains...and because we loved once before...our hearts stay carved, grooved, to handle more water than we could if we have never loved before.

 
At 11:55 PM, Blogger Brea said...

What an awesome place to be in your life.

 
At 7:39 AM, Blogger Imelda said...

Theresa - I would like to think that the greatest love of our life is just around the corner for all of us singles. To think any other way would be to lose hope, and I've never been a quitter.

That said, I'm happy to enjoy the journey while I'm on it, rather than wring my hands while focussing entirely on the destination.

Good luck!

 
At 11:23 AM, Blogger Al said...

When Life give me lemons.... I usually just order a shot and swear vegance upon my enemies or atleast hope they catch something nasty that requires penecillin

 
At 12:08 PM, Blogger Unacknowledged Genius said...

Isn't it exciting to contemplate finding the love of your life? Whoever he is he's going to be a lucky man, you're a lovely, thoughtful person.

 
At 12:22 PM, Blogger AndyT13 said...

If ther eIS such a thing as true love, love of your life, soul mates there's only one way to find out. Keep trying. Rock on.

 
At 2:16 PM, Blogger lauren said...

That was lovely, Theresa. Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. And so true.

 
At 4:24 PM, Blogger Spin_Doc1 said...

Today while driving through southeast DC I was reminded there are worse places to be than stuck in my life with my broken heart. At least I have friends, food, shelter and opportunities. I still want to find the love of my life, but for today I am happy with all that I have.

 
At 7:54 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Dick – Good to have a 2nd opinion.

Polyman – I definitely agree with the “never give up” part. It doesn’t take too much bitching before I get tired of hearing myself talk.

Steve – Thanks for sharing that. It’s a beautiful way to look at things.

Brea – A little scary, but it’s getting better.

Imelda – I like your way of looking at things.

Al – I’ll let you swear vengeance upon MY enemies. I think you’re better at it. I’d just wish they felt bad about what they did or something lame like that.

U-Genius – Thanks . Maybe this is what I need … a whole bunch of testimonials from people who like me.

Andy – The rocking shall resume!

Lauren – Thanks

Spin Doc – Great attitude. I hope you know what a great catch you are!!!

 
At 1:30 PM, Blogger naive-no-more said...

I've been here numerous times staring at the blank comment screen. Yesterday, I event typed a sentance and erased it.

I know what I want to say, but am having a hard time putting it in words. I can't come right out and say it because too many people I know read my blog and could eventually find this comment.

Sorry.

 
At 2:23 PM, Blogger theresa said...

NNM - I understand how not having a completely anonymous blog works. If you want, my email address in listed in my profile.

 
At 2:39 PM, Blogger JayneSays said...

Your strength and optimism always encourage me! Who knows, maybe that great true love will be . . . with yourself or even with the universe and everything in it?

 
At 9:07 PM, Blogger nosthegametoo said...

Theresa, I love coming to your site.

Your loyal fans enjoy your profound insights.

Peace and Love, you lovely lady.

 
At 12:12 AM, Blogger Laurie said...

How's that saying go? "Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all..."

 
At 9:05 PM, Blogger ZooooM said...

The trick is just getting through the bad so that you can enjoy the good all that much more.

Balance. Balancing the caution with the blind faith.

It's hard, but worth it.

 
At 6:33 AM, Blogger Popeye said...

There is that "teetering" sense that is frightening and invigorating. . .

 
At 5:06 PM, Blogger Bougie Black Boy said...

where are you hiding, babe?

 
At 1:33 PM, Blogger Sumeeta said...

I'm coming to this post a bit late, but I admire your bravery. I tend to crawl into my hole after being hurt and I have yet to emerge, so you have provided me with some hope.

 
At 3:17 PM, Blogger Aisha T. said...

I agree with your friend. And it takes a strong person to over comes the shite in life and still say, "I'm going to make it and be happy and content and still take chances."

 

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