Thursday, February 09, 2006

Love = Fear

It was the classic coward’s dump. First, he cut phone calls short; then he cancelled dates at the last minute. After a while, he forgot to call altogether. He’d just stumble in late, apologizing like crazy, saying he was busy, caught in traffic, delayed by family, detoured while climbing the Andes, kidnapped by pirates, trapped in quicksand, decapitated by a pack of rabid timber wolves, blah, blah, blah ... We all know the drill. Happens all the time in Manhattan. However, when a girl is in L.O.V.E., she will put up with such nonsense FAR longer than she would otherwise.

Thankfully, even the stupidest girl in L.O.V.E. eventually gets a clue and wises up.

It all happened quite suddenly. One day I was going along with the script, saying things like "That’s okay, Honey. I believe you if you say that that you couldn’t call for two days because all the phones on the East Coast melted into hot lava." And "Of course I believe you meant to meet me at 14th Avenue instead of 14th Street. It was probably MY fault. Silly me, I should have checked both places."

And then one day, something SNAPPED!!!

It all flooded in on me. All the lies, inconsistencies, exaggerations and broken promises collected in to one big red hot burn. Yep, my ass was on fire. I was mad at him for making me a fool, and I was mad at myself for falling in line with his silly song and dance routine. The only thing to do was break up.

The problem was that we’d tried to do that a couple times before. There would be a big scene on the phone, and then a few days later, he would call with apologies and some horrible problem that he couldn’t handle without his best girl at his side … followed by lots of hot make-up sex (sometimes right there on the phone).

I needed a new plan.

I decided to try a face-to-face break-up this time. That would make it real. It had to stick once and for all.

It didn’t matter that he lived 3 ½ hours away. Some things are more important than burning a few gallons of gas. I prepared myself physically and emotionally and hit the road. Since I didn’t call first, I shouldn’t have been surprised when he wasn’t home. So much for my great plan.

I sat outside his house for a good 2 hours before he finally arrived. When he did, he looked fantastic. He also looked really, really pissed. Somehow, the fact that he looked fantastic bothered me more. I think it was because I was way more pissed than he could ever imagine feeling himself. I'd had a total of 5 ½ hours to prepare a good juicy angry, ranting break-up scene in my head. Despite outweighing me by 85 pounds, the man didn’t have a chance. I knocked him on his ass in less than 10 minutes and walked my sweet fanny back out the door.

To this day, he says it’s the bravest thing he’s ever seen anyone ever do. I doubt that, but I don’t mind when he says it.

A couple months later, I got the call. He realized all the mistakes he made and he wanted me back. Instead of listening to the story-of-the-day, I was hearing the truth. It’s too bad it took him that long to realize that he’d just been afraid of love.


At 8:09 AM, Blogger Anonymous Assclown said...

Hell hath no wrath like a woman who has grown tired of a man's shit.

At 8:35 AM, Blogger AndyT13 said...

That reminds me of "No matter how good they look somebody somewhere is sick of their shit."

At 11:21 AM, Blogger littlefeet said...

bullshit matter how cute it is...

and some people, never learn...


At 11:38 AM, Blogger JayneSays said...

Good for you. Obviously, his profound loss. I dated a man for 2.5 years (and aged about 10 during that time) who lied, acted like a child and a fool and I came to my senses too, suddenly and powerfully. He will still track me down (10 years later!) and tell me I was the one who "got away." Huh? Anyway, you are brave!

At 5:12 PM, Blogger Laurie said...

What AC and Andy said.

Good for you, girl!

And it's his loss, now.

At 9:23 PM, Blogger Polyman2 said...

I think you let him off easy.
Wait a year, then floor him again.

At 6:59 AM, Blogger theresa said...

AC – Sounds like you speak from experience

Andy – Wise words

Monkey – some of us have to repeat our lessons several times …even me.

Jayne – Maybe bravery isn’t something we’re born with. Maybe we pick it up along the way.

Laurie – I think both he and I are both better off now.

Poly – It was so long ago. I haven’t got a smidge of anger or resentment left. But thanks for the encouragement.

At 8:06 AM, Blogger Al said...

Note to self -
Never Push T's buttons.

Just like bones - clean breaks heal the best.


At 8:37 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

(reminds me that sometimes I was an asshole)

At 11:12 AM, Blogger Sensual Demoness said...

Well done. Sometimes direct is best. Actually most times.

At 6:51 PM, Blogger Edward Ott said...

cool article

At 8:40 PM, Blogger theresa said...

Al - Some buttons are nice (tee hee)

Popeye - me too

Sensual - The older I get, the less patience I have.

Edward - Thank you

At 11:32 PM, Blogger Maverick said...

Wow, you knocked him on his ass? What a hot chik thing to do. I love the part where you say: "Yep, my ass was on fire." LOL

Maverick Kumari


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