Friday, February 03, 2006

It's a Rough Life but Somebody Has to Live It

I haven’t posted since before the last blue moon, and I think it’s high time. After all, “1 Hot Chik” is a silly name for a blog.

I know you have all been awake nights wondering what I’ve been up to. Well, I’ve been very busy with my new job as a full-time depressed person. It’s very demanding—the following is a list of my duties:

  • keep track of shrink and therapy appointments and adjust naptimes around them;
  • listen to the messages that pile up when I turn off my phone and decide which ones I absolutely must respond to;
  • separate laundry into piles (dirty, filthy, and nobody-will-know);
  • monitor daytime television commercials for one-dish, no-cook meals that my family can shop for on their own;
  • press Lamictal tablets out of those fucking blister packs without crumbling them into powder (I hear that this is currently a very marketable skill);
  • adjust Xanax consumption so as not to interfere with possible Happy Hour opportunities;
  • decide whether or not to waste energy educating skeptical know-it-alls like Tom Cruz (proof-positive that sometimes beauty is only skin deep);
  • cook up huge, steaming plates of Shut-the-Fuck-Up for those who are ignorant beyond redemption;
  • prepare and consume daily meals (Lean Cuisines and peanut butter toast, mostly);
  • arrange television-watching schedule, paying special attention to new episodes of The Dog Whisperer and What Not to Wear;
  • assemble daily list of creative justifications for not keeping a To Do list;
  • manage crying spells and the resulting 40-minute nap;
  • read my email only on official government holidays, which pisses my Dad off to no end;
  • decide whether to sleep or try to beat my highest Bejeweled score;
  • scour the internet for Celtic knot drawings and mandalas to color;
  • watch “tacky TV movies” in order to remember if I’ve seen them before;
  • try to focus on the fact that this is all I really need to do at this time in my life.

See? No wonder I have no time to write.



At 9:18 AM, Blogger theresa said...

Welcome Back!!!
Write lots more. I'm going away for the weekend.

At 2:15 PM, Blogger Shephard said...

Bejeweled. An evil game. Addictive. Sadly, my high score never got about 850,000. Or maybe that's a good thing? ;)
Loved the Tom Cruise comment.


At 2:55 PM, Blogger JayneSays said...

Ah, I've always wondered about the mystery 2nd Hot Chik (I started reading here must've been right after the last blue moon). I have been where you are, know what an ordeal it is just . . . managing. Good luck and I hope you return and write more soon. But no pressure : )

At 5:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Well, that sounds like plenty of tasks to keep you busy. Depression sucks ass.

At 7:36 PM, Blogger nosthegametoo said...

It's a pleasure to find out that there really is another "Hot Chick." I was beginning to think that you were a figment of Theresa's imagination. Which would be fine, plenty of people have imaginary friends.

Either way, I'm sure you'll find that you already have a built-in audience.

Hilarious post too.

At 10:46 PM, Blogger Polyman2 said...

Depression is merely
anger without enthusiam.

At 2:22 AM, Blogger ZooooM said...

Ah, depression. I have it too. Stupid name for it, depression is. Implies we can shake it off. I've been lucky enough to find the right meds. Best of luck to you.

At 6:59 PM, Blogger Lu said...

T: *smooch* backatcha

shep: 850,000? You rock!!

jayne: thanks for the comment. Look in the archives for a post I did about the "happy face." You might have to search for it...

popeye: No argument--Depression does suck ass.

nos: I AM a figment of T's imagination. And thanks for the rest of your comment, too.

poly: Is that what Depression is? And here I've been thinking it was a medical disorder...

zoooom: You're right--Depression (or even Major Depressive Disorder) is definitely misnamed. Any ideas for a better name? How about Nerve Cell Cancer? Then perhaps people would stop with the boot strap bullshit. Hell, we might even get our own research benefit program. Hey--let's all start wearing little black ribbon pins (you know, like the pink breast cancer ones?).

Thanks for the comment--it's really gotten me fired up!!!

At 12:56 AM, Blogger Brea said...

Sounds like me this time last year. Nice to meet the 2nd chick. I started reading after your disappearance. Hope to see you back.

At 12:59 PM, Blogger Bougie Black Boy said...

I just did a post last week on depression... welcome back. I wondered where the other hot chik is.

At 1:17 PM, Blogger JayneSays said...

Found and read your post (Depression is Boring 1/17/05) about the Happy Face. Insightful, resonated with me. I have described a similar faux face, only in terms of a puppet, with lots of wires and manipulation and effort. But that was about 10 years ago. I am better now, I can get out of bed and function most days. Hell, I even try to encourage others now. For me, it took the right anti-depressants, life changes, therapy and a (gulp) spiritual healing to get those seratonin levels back up. In the meanwhile I have learned that doing, receiving and even witnessing acts of kindness has been proven to raise those levels. (I know, I know, fuck you and the unwanted, unsolicited cheery high horse you rode in on, Jayne . . .)

At 1:57 PM, Blogger AndyT13 said...

I can't say welcome back since I too joined after the last blue moon, but I enjoyed your post.

At 8:45 AM, Blogger Lu said...

As I read back through these comments, I am once again amazed at the number of people who know firsthand the pain of a Depressive Illness. Makes you wonder why the "Bootstrap Stigma" is still an issue.

Brea: Nice to meet you, too.

Bougie: Just read your blog post *sniff*. I wanted to comment, but there is so much I'd like to say to you that I think I'll just politely decline. Perhaps my past and future posts on this blog will cover some of that.
However, re: the connection between creativity and Depression/Bipolar Disorder--three of my favorite afflicted heroes are Mozart, Van Gough, and Abe Lincoln (check out some of his personal correspondence some time).

Jayne: Wow--another kindred spirit! But "unwanted and unsolicited" are adjectives I reserve for those who only think they've been through it, not for those who really have. You are not actually giving advice, but rather sharing your own experience, which touches my heart.

Andy: Is there a martini connected to that "Cheers"?


At 8:57 AM, Blogger Lu said...

Oops--forgot something for Jayne: check out THE HAPPY FACE SAGA of WHY I'M ON DISABILITY from 3/24/05.

At 2:54 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

And then when you're done at my house, you can go take care of any chores at your place.


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